Please help me to find and correct my mistake, I'm not very good, thanks,
With the increasing use and development of new technology, many machines are now able to do the work which people used to perform. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?
Electronic devices are now dramatically developed and widely used. As a result, a lot of work which was once done by human is now performed by machines. This trend brings us not only advantages but disadvantages as well.
Never before has human' s work been done by modern machines as much as it is today. Why? First of all, using machines consumes less time than doing the work ourselves. A lot of chores at home, paper works at the office, medical checking in hospital,... are done by electronic machines, while human solves more significant problems that electronic devices cannot do. Secondly, machines works more effectively than human does. Machines can create thousands of products that are completely the same and faster than human worker, which factories' owners require. Moreover, machines are not tired or sick, they only break down after a long time being used, then, we just need to fix them or replace them with another one.
On the other hand,some machines are too expensive for us to afford. Moreover, performing too much work by machines leads to bad effects, too. Not working for a long time, human can become lazy and no longer want to do anything. In the future, we may depend on machines too much that we cannot live without them. And machines cannot be creative or develop their skills like human, their products always stay the same as the beginning. Electronic devices, however, are created by human so it is impossible to say human can be perfectly replaced by machines.
In conclusion, before using a machine, we should weigh up pros and cons so that it would brings us advantages only. Machines are not bad, but to use it unwisely is bad.
Hello, I can help assist you with any needed changes.
1st paragraph: I see only a minor error. You should change human to humans.
2nd paragraph: I would change your transition word to "First". I think that stating paper works at the office is confusing. Do you mean organizing paper at the office? Today, we can organize files electronically. Here is a suggestion for that sentence:"A lot of chores at home, organizing paper at the office, and checking in at a hospital are done by electronic machines. While Today, humans solve more significant problems that electronic devices cannot do." The next sentence, you want to delete the -s at the end of work and add an -s at the end of human. Change part of the next sentence: "...humans worker , which factory..." The next sentence I am going to suggest a change in word order and a semicolon. ...after a long time being used being used for a long time; then, we just need to fix them or replace them with another one .
3rd paragraph: Delete the comma before too. I think the sentence about humans does not fit with this paragraph because the paragraph relates more to machines than humans. I think you should revise this sentence: "And Machines cannot be creative or develop their skills like humans, their products always stay the same as the beginning . Add -s to the word human in the last sentence of this paragraph. You will make human plural twice in this sentence.
Conclusion: You can change weigh up to "weigh the" and place a comma after cons. These words need to be rearranged:"...it will only bring us advantages."
Tinytin, the first paragraph of your essay already tells a reader what they can expect, which is a very good sign that you are a good writer however this also leaves no thrill to the reader. Well, you cannot please everyone, so let me help you enhance it;
- ...paper works at the office, medical checking in hospital,etc....(never leave continues periods, use "etc" instead) are done by electronic machines,
- Secondly, machines works more effectively than human does .
- ..their products always stay the same asfrom the beginning.
- Electronic devices, however, are created by human so it is impossible to say that human can..
- ...we should weigh upthe pros and cons so that it would brings us advantages only.
There you have it, a little help from my end. I just want to add that machines are indeed a great addition to human life, it makes everything seem easy, consistent and fast, this means more time to enjoy life for humans and just like any other things, when used excessively, machines can be really bad.
Many thanks!!!!!!!!!!!
