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IELTS Task 2 - A majority of mature people are preferring to live with their families



Sophienguyen 1 / -  
Mar 13, 2021   #1
I am a self learner. help me to identify my band scores.

grown-ups sharing house with parents



In some countries, more and more adults are continuing to live with their parents even after they have completed their education and found jobs. Do the advantages of this outweigh its the disadvantages?

In recent years, we have seen that a majority of mature people are preferring to live with their families despite having a good education and successful careers. In my opinion this trend has both pros and cons in equal measures.

Some benefits can be easily identified. One clear advantage of staying under the same roof, is that it allows the living costs to be shared amongst the family. The cost of housing in particular is a major factor as we have seen property prices and rentals increase dramatically in cost. Furthermore, those who earn only a moderate income may not have sufficient funds or may struggle to pay other living expenses such as utilities and food. As a result, they rely on the totally need a financial support from their family in order to avoid bearing the weight of all household bills and responsibilities on their own.

A second benefit is that it creates a convenient way for them to spend sufficient time taking care of elderly parents. It allows them to provide good quality health care which is particularly important if their parents have mobility or mental health problems. Thirdly, parents can offer practical and emotional support because Parents would prepare home cooked meals which are healthier than eating out for their sons and their daughters.Moreover, Living on your own can be very lonely so living with parents gives people someone to talk to, especially if they are worried about something. As the saying goes "a problem shared is a problem halved".

On the other hand, living together with one's father or mother is not always a good thing. Firstly, a one-person household can be seen as positive for both personal and broader economic reasons. Those, who choose to settle in their family may not only become less independent but also less self-reliant than those who live alone . A young adult, for instance, would actually lack valuable life skills such as cooking, earning money to pay bills and even self- management of his or her budget.

Secondly, there is a huge percentage of adults losing their freedom due to the over control of parents over in their private lives. Particularly, in Asian culture, and in particular in Vietnam parents assert a strong influence over their children even into adulthood. Such as, parents prohibiting children to participate in some activities as dating day, and traveling without family permission. Therefore, these mature people may experience negative feelings which may lead to resentment, suicidal thoughts and depression, due to the inability to relieve their stress how they wish, or form relationships of their choosing.

In conclusion, sharing a house as an adult with relatives will have both beneficial and detrimental effects on adult individuals. I still believe that more advantages are gained by people who prefer to stay in their family unit, as everyday financial burdens would appear not to concern them, and they have a built-in support mechanism for the trials and tribulations of everyday life.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15393  
Mar 14, 2021   #2
Wow! 496 words, way over the number of words that you can actually write within the 40 minute time frame if you truly take the time to analyze the question, draft a response, review the response, edit, proofread, and finalize the content. There is absolutely no way that you can do all of that, and write that many words within the given time allowance. Aim for 275-300 words alone. That is the number of written words that will help you focus on the quality of the work you are presenting. This length of essay writing often results in more presentation errors being made. You do not need to write too much, you just have to write the proper number of words that will allow the examiner to best assess your English comprehension and writing skills.

This essay shows that you did not understand the discussion instruction. So you wrote an essay that will fail due to the format not being related to the task assigned. What is the task assigned? It is based on the following:

OQ: Do the advantages of this outweigh its the disadvantages?
Response: In my opinion this trend has both pros and cons in equal measures.

The keyword here is "outweigh". The response cannot show an equality of reasoning due to that word. That specific word "outweigh" means that it is a single opinion essay based on a single supporting statement. Either the advantages weigh more than the disadvantages or the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. There is no other option. Therefore, this essay shall receive an overall failing score based on :

- Improper format response
- Lack of clear opinion in the overall presentation


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