Can somebody help me with writing independent essay TOEFL, please ?
I put my writing here:Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
In order to become financially responsible adults, children should learn to manage their own money at young age.
My father always says to me that spend your money for lousier activities. Though, words cannot express my gratitude for his role in my life, I have different viewpoint with him. As far as I am concerned, not only the children should be noticed with financial issues, but also do they should imitate ways of saving money from successful ones.
There is a short quite window of opportunity to have better future with wasting money in childhood. When you spend money in unnecessary ways it can spread to your future and consequently cause trouble for you. From my experience, my father lost their money in several gambling and tolerated some financial problems in his life. With seeing him I found that saving money is significantly important and I applied that from my school period.
In addition, saving money makes prestige for children. They can appropriately handle their major issues in their life and use it for other aspects of their life. The manager ones in financial ways are better manager in studying. Small example may give light to this point. My cousin is a perfect person in saving time, because of using analogy between saving money and time simultaneously. How can any person ignore the role of saving in one's life?
Nevertheless, having managing view for any aspects, especially money would be created boring moments. I strongly believe that the future world completely depend on money. If you learn the children spend money without any proper purpose, they will not be able to conquer vague situation. When people only see your money for having relationship, it is vital to learn managing of that and make genuine serendipity for your future. However, spending money can learn other aspects of life. With spending nothing you have no experience in many ways. Travelling, for example creates many adventurer moments and under these circumstances you are able to learn many decent behavior.
To recapitulate in all aspects, from my father experience and having better future the children should be practiced by many ways of saving and managing their own money. In addition, the governments should allocate some budget for creating special courses for children in school to learn them for treating and saving money in different situation.