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[Task 1] - Map - The developments of Stokeford, a Riverside Town, in Almost a Decade



adrian21 15 / 17  
Mar 14, 2016   #1
The developments of Stokeford, a riverside town, in almost a decade starting from 1930 to 2010 are displayed in the map. The most highlighted difference is a massive reduction of farmlands which were replaced by houses with several additions of roadways.

In 1930, farmlands existed in the west and east side of the town and a primary road leading from the south to a bridge in the north. In addition to this, a large house and gardens were located in the middle of the town, connected to the road and a path spotted behind primary school and going through farmlands to the north east, but over a 80-year period, these were altered into retirement home surrounded by fewer trees and facilitated with new roadway. Opposite side of this showed plenty of houses as the most part in the center to the south of the city in 2010, which was occupied by farmland in 1930.

The northern side would share the same fate, as houses predominantly filled the area. This caused no remaining farmland in this city. Other housing complex, with a road running into riverside, was constructed in place of the shops, next to post office. In the northern east of Stokeford, the path and farmlands were also replaced by some houses. Interestingly, primary school became larger, while no changes occurred in the river stoke and the bridge.


  • Map


justivy03 - / 2265  
Mar 15, 2016   #2
Hi Adrian, I wish to help out modify your essay, please find corrections below.

- areis displayed in the map.
- The most highlighted difference highlighted is a

- leading fromto ( leading - is a forwarding word therefor it should be "leading to" ) the south
- towards a bridge in the north.
- Opposite side of thisgraph showed

-The northern side would shared the same fate,

There you have it Adrian, I must say that the analysis is done accurately, however, I feel like the missing part is the conclusion and it should be in the essay, this way you will be able to put an overall analysis of the essay and the conclusion is done.

I hope this helps and for future writing reference, keep the essay contents in a smooth flow, the ideas should also be uniformed, the introduction, the body and the ultimate conclusion and in this case the ultimate analysis.
angga93 42 / 60  
Mar 22, 2016   #3
Hello Adrian, i found that your writing has an interesting point of view, the lost of farmland. However, it is hard for me to extract your main idea in each paragraph. I suggest you to follow the rule of grouping so that the reader can easily follow the flow of information. In addition, you should mention those group in your overview so that the reader can expect what will they get from your each paragraph.

Nice writing pal, I hope it is helpful :)
Regards


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