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A Noticeable Changing in Stokeford Town Between 1930 and 2010

Stacy Handayani 29 / 16 19  
May 28, 2015   #1
The maps give information concerning the changes in Stokeford between 1930 and 2010. Overall, it can be seen that a great number of houses has been built on the area which previously had a function as farmland over an 80-year period. In addition, in 2010, some extention roads were constructed to accomodate people in Stokeford.

With regard to the North side of Stokeford village between 1930 and 2010, in the first map, there was a lot of farmlands in North-East of the map and in East side of the road there was a primary school. Furthermore, opposite the primary school, post office and shops are located. However, this area changed much in 2010, the area of farmland were replaced by residential area and an extended road, while primary school was enlarged. In addition, the shops had been knocked down and then the area was constructed to be places for houses and road.

Turning to the Southern of Stokeford, a great changing had been recorded at this side. At the first time, the area in right side of the river were a huge farmland, then it was destroyed and was turned into residential area. On the other side of the road, East side of Stokeford, a large house was enlarged and the big tree in front of it had been cut off in 2010. In addition, the garden of a large house was srinked and replaced by road and houses.

eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,208 476  
May 28, 2015   #2
A few points;
Para 1:
As two maps have been showed concern about the proposed changes in one area, I suggest writing "the two maps COMPARE...", instead of "give"

Para 2:
Sentence 1 should be "there were a lot of farmlands."
* and (DELETE), write while
Sentence 2 should be "on the opposite side of the road from primary school were post office and shops."
Sentence 3 should be "the area of farmlands was replaced..."

Para 3:
Sentence 1 should be "a great change..."
Sentence 2 should be "the area... was..."
Sentence 4 should be "...shrank...", not srinked.

Since all feedback is done somewhere with a cellphone, my sorely concern is to reveal what to improve upon your performance in general. Hope this helps, eddy suaib.

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