IELTS TASK 1 : MAP, West park secondary school construction

Question:
The diagrams below show the changes that have taken place at West park Secondary School since its construction in 1950.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

Answer:
A comparison of the changes which have taken place at west park secondary school from 1950 to 2010 is revealed in the pictures. What stands out from the maps is that the farmland in 1950 was reshaped to be car park in 2010. It also can be seen that houses appeared in 1950 was deteriorated.

There was a dramatic change in farmland located in the eastern map in 1950 over the course of sixty years. The building was altered to be place for performing regular exercise in 1980, and parking area for cars was built in 2010 to reshape sport field. Standing in contrast, 1950 to 2010 experienced virtually remain unchanged in playground and educational institute which are located in Western park.

In addition to this, people accommodations which were shaped in 1950 were changed over the years. Although car park was created in 1980, the building was deteriorated. However, 1980 to 2010 was constructed the science block placed in next to school building. Afterwards, the car park was more widened performed in 2010. In between the car park and playground in 2010, there was sport field.

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Hello, I can help you with any needed changes to your essay.

1st paragraph: The school's name should be capitalized: West Park. I would change "What stands out" . Here is a suggestion: "A significant change that occurred is shown on the maps when the farmland in 1950 was redesigned to be a car park in 2010." The language is more specific and the reader can observe that this was a change. Here is another suggestion to start your last sentence: "Also, it can be...."

I would also like to mention that it is a possibility that the houses on this map didn't deteriorate. There could have been a reconstruction project and part of that project could have been a car park and science block that was built in the 1980's.

2nd paragraph: I would use a transition word to begin the next paragraph. Ex: "Furthermore, there was a dramatic change in farmland location on ..." I would simplify the next sentence. It would be simple just to name the locations that are in its place. Ex: "The building was altered to be place for performing regular exercise make a sports field in 1980. , and Then in 2010, a parking area for cars was built in 2010toreshape to replace the sport field."

The word order and next transition word should be "Standing In contrast, from 1950 to 2010 the playground and school, which are located in West Park, remained unchanged."

3rd paragraph: I'm unsure about the first sentence. Also, the car park actually expanded. I think you should change deteriorate to show that there was an expansion of the car park in 2010. Change this sentence: "However, in 1980 to 2010was constructed the a science block was constructed placed in next to the school building." Delete the next sentence. The last sentence place "a" before sport.