"Marriage is the grave of love". Women don't need to get married.

Topic : in many countries, women no longer feel the need to get married. Some people believe that this is because women are able to earn their own income and therefore do not require the financial security that marriage can bring. To what your extent do you agree?

Have you ever heard about this sentence " Marriage is the grave of love"? There are many real stories about this. Nowadays, in many countries, women no longer feel the need to get married. Some people believe that this is because women are able to earn their own income and therefore do not require the financial security that marriage can bring. For me, I am a woman, I agree with this matter.

In the past, when economy depended on agriculture, many families depended on the strength of men, husbands. Women rarely went to school or went outside to work, they usually stayed home, and did households. Their missions were to take care of children and to have more babies. Their lives depended hugely on their husbands, their sons. However, nowadays, when inventions about modern machines are applied to production that changes greatly in all of the aspects of lives. Conceptions also are renewed to fit better in life. Women have more opportunities, they can go to school, go to work, communicate with more people in society. Therefore, they improve themselves, they are not inferior to men, they can earn their own money for their needs and do not depend on men. The marriage is no longer a critical issue for them anymore.

In the modern life, a conception is "to live what a true you are " or " be yourself" is popular, so the marriage is a string to make people feel no freedom. For some women, if they are lucky to have good husbands with nice kids, it is a perfect family that every woman wants to keep it forever. However, for some women, if they have bad husbands who usually leave houses, do not care for children or do not have to any job. This marriage is the hardest punishment to live with, so modern women do not want to live a life like this, they change themselves, maybe they just want to have babies but they do not want to get married.

On the whole, women nowadays show more how good they are, how independent they are, they can do all things that men can do, they do not need the benefits could be brought from the marriage.

Sydney, your opening statement requires yo to completely spell out your opinion on the topic. What you wrote is an incomplete sentence because you did not specifically inform the reader as to what you are agreeing to. You can do this by revising your second sentence from being a general statement to your personal opinion instead. The third sentence should then be an assurance that a more complete discussion is coming up in the next few paragraphs.

I think you are sharing a translation of your country's beliefs about marriage. Not everyone is going to be familiar with it and in this case, it does not really offer a clear meaning or sentiment to the reader. My advice, is to only use sayings, adages, and proverbs that are more commonly known and understood by a majority of the population. Otherwise, sayings like what you have in the last paragraph sense nonsensical to the reader.

Dear Holt,
Thank for your advice. I will fix it. Maybe this essay is totally my point of view about marriage. I do not believe in men, sometimes they just promise but they rarely do what they always swear, and it really makes the disappointment.

Sydney, then by all means, reflect that personal opinion in your essay. Discussing it by referencing personal experience can only make the essay better. That will show that you have a deep understanding and relationship to the prompt. By expressing your personal opinion, you will find it is much easier to defend your stand within the overall context of the essay.

For example, you can present the same discussion that you presented above to me. Reformatted, that sentiment can become your opening statement. It already includes the reasons you agree with the statement. So your succeeding paragraphs will just need to concentrate on discussing each reason you gave on an individual paragraph basis. At that rate, I am sure you will also be able to come up with an impressive concluding statement.

Thank you, Holt. ^_^, I will try to fix that