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How many marriages and divorces took place in the UK, in the period of 25 years

hance9x 1 / 1  
May 18, 2020   #1

TASK 1 line graph shows the number of marriages and divorces in the UK

The line graph illustrates how many marriages and divorces in the UK in the period of 25 years.
Overall, the total number of marriages increased over the period in which the number of first marriages declined. The figure of divorces was a downward trend.

There were almost 500 thousands of total marriages which increased considerably to reach a peak of 640 thousand in 1985 before decreasing to 580 thousands of marriages at the end of the period. By contrast, the number of first marriages increasing from 330 thousand to 410 thousand witnessed a slight decrease to just over 300 thousand in 2000.

Whereas standing at 150 thousand in 1975, the number of second marriages rose minimally to 260 thousand at the end of the period. In 1975, there were only 80 thousands of divorces, but this number was nearly doubled in 1985 and followed an upward trend to overtake the number of second marriages at 250 thousand in 2000.

Please take time and kindly give me some feedback. I am preparing for Ielts exam, can you tell me about my mistakes and way to fix it? Thank you so much!!!

Holt [Contributor] - / 8,568 2485  
May 19, 2020   #2
You have shown a talent for analyzing the images. However, identifying the images and properly presenting the data in a report format are two different things. Remember, coherence is found within the length of the sentence presentations. That means a sentence that is short, but includes a clear reference to one piece of information will be better understood and remembered by the reader than a sentence composed of 2 ideas in one presentation.

There is a tendency for you to overwrite in your sentences because you are focused more on the presentation of the ideas rather than the clarity of the information. Always aim to present clear information rather more ideas in one sentence. It helps you avoid the creation of run-on sentences, allows you to truly develop simple and complex sentences, and helps you achieve the minimum 3 sentences per paragraph presentation.

Always do a second review of the image after you complete your draft. Look for information you may overlooked the first time. In this case, the year 1990 provides an interesting comparison point. The rate of marriage and divorce overlapped at a rate of more or less 205 thousand.

Which reminds me, you forgot to indicate the measurement unit in the summary overview. You should have included that the factors were measures in the thousands. Additionally, you should have included a listing of the factors measured. You only mentioned 2 out of 4. You should have found a creative way to represent the other 2 sectors in the overview. The trending statement could have mentioned all 4 as follows:

The data measured covered the total marriages, 1st marriages, 2nd marriages, and divorces. The 15 year trend highlighted an increase in 2nd marriages and divorces, while indicating a downward measurement for first marriages. The total number of marriages hit a plateau in 1995 before starting to rise again in the year 2000.
OP hance9x 1 / 1  
May 19, 2020   #3
Thank you a lot for helpful advices to my essay, i really appreciate it.
Can this essay get 6.0 writing?

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