The development of tourism contributed to english becoming the most prominent languange in the world.
Some people think this will lead to English becoming the only languange spoken globally. What are the advantages to having one languange in the world?
Massive growth of international tourism directly affected to the widely spoken langanguge in the world, English, that promoted as only language used worldwide. However, having one form of language to communicate brings a merit, as it could be the connecting dot between two distinct culture, while it might drives some drawback that lead into local language rarity.
English as the prominent languge to be internationally spoken help in incresing understanding among contries. The people might have terminology sameness when they conducting such a bussines which can deteriorate miscommunication. What is the implication? It is clearly seen that the profitable relationship will be established between those countries. For instance, Japan is a renowned country which preserve the Japanese languange in daily basis for their citizen since they were a kids, yet English will be introduced and being encouraged when the people admitting higher education as to maximalize the economic chances in another country and share valuable research's result.
On the other hand, promoting English as the one-fit-all languange might lurking a danger for the native spoken language and erase the culture as well. The most common reason for the foreign tourist visiting rich culture site is they intend to learn the diversity especially the language and culture. Therefore, if those dissapering time to time, it will lead into marked less interest to spend leisure time to this place which influence the local's economy as well. For instance, Bali is a well known region in Indonesia which always practicing Ngaben as the funeral ritual and ceremony before the people's ashes will be scattered in the ocean. It attracts the foreign tourist to photograph this unusual occassion.
In conclusion, while there will be abundant of advantages offered, it also possible problems served if English become one global language. Thus, the society should be aware to practice their own language everday, while the tend to be a bilingual as to ensure the culture exsistance in long run.Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,835 
4783 The essay asks you to discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of having one global language. Therefore, your approach to the essay is correct. This is an A/D essay. One paragraph for each discussion point. The problem, is that you overwrote in the essay. You should not go beyond 275-290 words. You avoid making more scoring errors when you write within that word count. You should not be trying to write too many English sentences when you are obviously not yet proficient in English writing. The less words you write, the lesser the risk of multiple errors. Write within that word range and you will find that you still have time to review your work, catch your errors (spelling, grammar, vocabulary, punctuation usage), correct the errors, and maximize your scoring potential.
You should not just write for the sake of writing. The IELTS test scores you heavily on the clarity of your sentences and paragraphs. Your paragraphs are not going to receive a passing mark based on the scoring requirements for clarity and coherence. You are trying to simply translate word for word from your native tongue to English. That is why the words you have chosen to use in English do not flow naturally, nor do they make sense to a native speaker once you have put the word choices together in a sentence / paragraph.
If you do not say "On the one hand" in the prior paragraph, you should not say "On the other hand" in the next paragraph. It loses the comparative implication and connection between the two paragraphs. In fact, you should avoid using such word fillers altogether. Simply use topic sentences. In this instance, start one with an advantage topic and the next with the disadvantage, or vice versa. Make every word you write count. Do not use fillers that will not push your scores higher overall.
Look, this is your first IELTS test so I will not be too hard on you. I'll start with the obvious problem in your writing instead. That is, your presentations lack clarity. It is difficult for the reader to understand what you are trying to say because of your bad word choices and sentence structure. Next time, use simple vocabulary, use simple sentences for the presentation. You don't need to aim too high. The point of this test is to show that you can express yourself clearly in English to a native speaker. Focus on sentence development exercises. You need it. Those exercises will help you learn how to write coherent sentences. It may not be concise at first, but at least it will be understandable in the long form. Start there and work your way up to short but clear sentences.
- I think you wrote the body paragraph 2 in irrelevance because you are actually discussing more other local culture such as Ngaben in Bali. You should discuss more the scarcity of local languages due to people use too much English in the local area so that's why the local language becomes forgotten, as you have said in the introduction paragraph that is "it might drive some drawback that leads to local language rarity".
Therefore, the example presented in body paragraph 2 should be about the scarcity of the local language in a region.
- However, you are giving an idea which is outside the instructions, the question was what are the advantages of using English as a global language. The second idea about the scarcity of local languages was totally a negative impact. Here is a reference idea from me:
"However, having one form of language to communicate brings merit, as it could be the connecting dot between two distinct cultures, in addition, it will more likely increase the opportunities of someone from a non-English speaking country to enhance their career to an international level"
