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IELTS: What measures could be taken to solve increasing weight of some people?


Timberlake 1 / 5  
Sep 28, 2014   #1
In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problem and what measures could be taken to slove them?

The global industry has becoming more and more development in every single day of the modern life.But in some countries throughout the world the mature mambers of the population are becoming weight.It is commonly said that this part of the society is amplifying as ever before and vice versa.Thanks to the weighting levels of this part of society 's health aspect and fitness are declining more and more each day.This kind of revolution has both advanteges and disadvanteges impact effectively on personal and environmental health as do all other changes brought by industralization and, more recently globalization.

A firts point is that as abovementioned this conundrums appear by means of consuming a fast foods and increasing a consumers of this sort of foods.That's true in the sense that a fast foods are comprehensive food in terms of including much more the iodine than can nefetive effect upon the health of human beings.

Furthermore, most part of members of the today's society are becoming lazy.This is takinf place simply because of the ever increasing influence of the modern technology upon a pshyco-social and mental aspects of the human beings.On the other hand, the crucial contrubing factor is the industry revolution that whether does or creates any kind of things instead of human beings.

Finally, it has been noticed and identified that the Internet is the main reason of this conundrum.The minority of people sit in front of the computer terminal in terms of resolving any kind of problems or engaging any kind of foods by using the Internet.

In conclusion, hence, we must establish a sense of whether the moving or being active no matter where or how, but must attempt to do so.

ritairianti 3 / 12 4  
Sep 28, 2014   #2
This is my suggestion for you :
1. You didn't answer the question .

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problem and what measures could be taken to solve them?

I think, the question is :
- What do you think are the causes of these problem ?
- What measure could be taken to solve them ?

Let me give your some pattern in essay :
Paragraph 1 : introductory
Paragraph 2 : answer the first question about "your opinion why /cause people become fat and fitness are decreasing?"
Paragraph 3 : answer the second question about " how to solve these problem ? "
Paragraph 4 : summarize your opinion.

2. ....he global industry has becoming more and more development i ...
3. A firts First point is that as abovementioned this conundrums appear ....
4. - firts = first
- slove = solve
-nefetive = negative
takinf = taking

check your spelling please.

Cheers . :)


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