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IELTS WRITING TASK 1 - More Men Dying of Covid-19 Than Women



zeed22 1 / -  
Jan 1, 2023   #1

percentage of deaths by gender due to the covid-19 disease



The bar chart visualizes Covid-19 diseases attack both sexes, and the majority of people dying because of it are men rather than women in several countries. Overall, men in Italy and Denmark are far higher dying than women due to Covid-19 diseases, while Danish women are the least ones dying compared to other countries in Europe and Asia.

Initially, albeit just under a half of men in France experience death, Italian and Danish men remain the highest dying among other countries because of Covid-19 infection, accounting for 71%. While women in France dying have nearly the same huge percentage as the Iranian women, taking up well under fifty.

Moreover, both men and women citizens in China have dying cases with similar trend data to Portugal at 64% and 36% respectively. Meanwhile, the rate of women in Italy and Denmark have the same dying cases at around 29%. This is also happening to women in Spain and Germany where they get Covid-19 symptoms until they die with approximately 35%


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Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15370  
Jan 1, 2023   #2
While the word count was properly met in the presentation, the correct page formatting was not applied so formatting dedu,ctions will need to be reflected in the score. Sentence structuring is also off based on incorrect grammar, punctuation and confusing thought presentations. GRA deductions could very well result in an overall failing score for the essay at this point. Incomplete explanations and paragraph writing will have even higher Negative scoring effects. A paragraph is partially completed with 3 sentences. It is fully developed with 5 sentences.

The writer has done his best to provide a proper analysis of the information. He has the ability to pick-out pertinent information for presentation. Based on this ability, he just needs to further develop his written discussion skills. He must strive to write 300 words to achieve his target band score or, get close to it. I look forward to guiding his progress over the coming days.


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