Unanswered [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


Miss Grand International 2016 Comes Home to North Sumatra



mem77 62 / 93  
Nov 28, 2016   #1
Ariska Putri Pertiwi, Miss Grand International 2016, went back to her settlement in Medan, North Sumatra for the first time after won the competition. She was welcomed by the traditional music and dance from South Tapanuli. She stated that she will stay in Medan for two days. She planned to visit several places in Medan like the Rahmat International Wildlife Museum & Gallery and beauty program classes.

Governor of North Sumatra, Erry Nuraidi stated that Indonesia was satisfied with Ariska's achievement because she can promote all traditional cultures in Indonesia, especially North Sumatra. He also said that the council was developing of Lake Toba place to make it more popular in the future..

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15466  
Nov 28, 2016   #2
Muhamad, you did some pretty good work in summarizing this article. You were able to deliver the key points of the article and successfully informed the reader regarding the comments of the North Sumatra governor in relation to her achievement and how it can help her hometown. There is a slight correction regarding the term you used to describe where she came from. Don't call it a settlement, the proper term is hometown. A settlement is a place, typically one that has hitherto been uninhabited, where people establish a community. While the hometown is describe as the town where one was born or grew up, or the town of one's present fixed residence. Do you see the difference in meaning and why the latter term is the more proper term to use in reference to where she returned to after her win? Sometimes, using the wrong term reflects badly in the essay because it changes the meaning of the sentence. Therefore, it can affect the understanding of what you wish to say and how it is received by the reader. That could result in a lower vocabulary score when an examiner analyzes your summary.


Home / Writing Feedback / Miss Grand International 2016 Comes Home to North Sumatra
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳