IELTS--mobile phone and youngsters, a necessity or evil

I am trying to get band 7 in all modules, please kindly help me correct this essay. Thanks a bundle!
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With the booming of communication technology, the mobile phone has becoming a common equipment for daily use, even among youngsters. Thus raises the question of whether it is a necessity to equip children and young students with mobile phones. In my opinion it depends on what kinds of mobile phones are used and what the young students intend to use them for.

There are basicly two kinds of mobile phone. One is with the basic functions such as making phone calls and sending text messages, while as the technology grows, more youngsters intend to use "smartphones" instead due to its capabilities to install various kinds of softwares and its advanced functionality such as surfing the internet and playing online video games.

Some believe that using mobile phones has a negative effect on children, since kids tend to be easily distracted by incoming message, especially in class. Some would even becoming addicted to texting messages. For those who have smartphones, it is even harder to concentrate in class knowing they can do other business on their cellphones, which is apparently more interesting than the class itself. What's more, kids who have less self-deciplines, using smartphones to chat online or play video games can easily occupy their spare time and even do harm to their physical and mental health. That's why mobile phones are forbidden in some campus due to its negative effect on students' academic studies.

However, we cannot ignore those advantages to equip children with mobile phones. For one thing, parents can easily communicate with their kids instantly to feel safe, also kids can call for help whenever they need or in the case of an emergency, especially in high-crime-rate areas where kids are frequently reported missing. For another, smartphones have so many great softwares that can assist children to look up infomation as well as to organize their time well. What's more, they can easily access the school network to watch videos of lectures and catch up the section they might be missing in class. Such a useful tool is easy to carry and use, therefore it can certainly boost up their efficiency and effectiveness in academic study.

So the question is how to use the mobile phone in a healthy way while avoiding it becoming a "gameboy". Anyway, the main objective for youngsters are still academic study. Certain rules for mobile phone use are suggested in campus and at home, for example, all phones are obliged to be switched off during class and smartphones are only experimental to those whose academic grades are less affected or even improved.

With the booming ofin the communication technology, the mobile phone has becomea common equipment(this is an uncountable word) for daily use, even among youngsters. Thus,(do not forget about punctuation) raises the question of whether it is a necessity to equip children and young students with mobile phones. In my opinion, it depends on what kinds of mobile phones are used and what the young students intend to use them for.

There areBasically , there are two kinds of mobile phones . One is with the basic functions such as making phone calls and sending text messages, while as the technology grows, more youngsters intend to use "smartphones" instead due to itstheir capabilities to install various kinds of softwares and its advanced functionality such as surfing the Internet (capitalize this word) and playing online video games. (pay attention to the structure)

Some believe that using mobile phones has a negative effect on children, since kids(this is not a formal word) tend to be easily distracted by an incoming message, especially in class. Some would even become addicted to textingtyping messages. For those who have smartphones, it is even harder to concentrate in class knowing they can do other business on their cellphones, which is apparently more interesting than the class itself. What's more, kids who have less self-deciplines, using smartphones to chat online or play video games can easily occupy their spare time and even do harm to their physical and mental health. That's why mobile phones are forbidden in some campus due to its negative effect on students' academic studies.

This is really helping ! Please give me more of your valuable advices! Thanks a lot !

This is really helpingful ! Please give me more of your valuable advices ! Thanks a lot !

Great corrections here!

Yes, it should say "an incoming message" here:
... since kids tend to be easily distracted by incoming message, especially ...

However, we cannot ignore those advantages to equip that come from equipping children with mobile phones.

For one thing, parents can easily communicate with their kids instantly to feel safe, also and kids can call for help whenever they

This is a run on sentence:
Certain rules for mobile phone use are suggested in campus and at home, for example, all phones are obliged to be switched off during class and smartphones are only experimental to those whose academic grades are less affected or even improved.

Do this:
Certain rules for mobile phone use are suggested in campus and at home. For example, all...

:-) Please practice typing the sentences and using the correct grammar. That will be the way you memorize the correct grammar and build a good habit.

that a lot!