IELTS WRITING TASK 2: Modern lifestyle means that many parents have little time for their children.

Task 2:
Modern lifestyle means that many parents have little time for their children. Many children suffer because they do not get as much attention from their parents as children did in the past.

Do you agree or disagree?

In recent decades, the rapid increase in labor force participation has dramatically affected the child-care time of parents. Although some argue that this tendency causes disadvantages to children, there are a large number of benefits that children receive from this trade-off.

It is clear that less time with children acts as an incentive for child development. First, if parents spend quality and meaningful time playing with their kids instead of quantity of time, they are likely to value the time and do not take children for granted. In fact, this not only benefits close relationships with children but also enhances unconditional love of parents, especially fathers. Second, since children do not put up with strong leadership of parents, they have a tendency to be more independent and intrinsically creative, which will be conducive to either their social life or work in the future. This means that being less reliant on others when tackling small issues such as homework or games ensures children not to be susceptible to big troubles in real life.

Also, reducing time for children contributes to a better quality of life. First, by determining to work long hours, parents are likely to earn more money at the expense of child-care time, which provides children with good nutrition and health care. In fact, without working hard to earn a living, parents have to cut back on their spending of food to ensure stability in a rocky economic environment. Second, in order to afford expensive and luxury holidays for children, it requires extensive work hours for parents. As a result, children feel happier when having joyful time with their parents rather than daily schedules at home.

In conclusion, less time but intensive care of parents not only brings children good development but also improves the quality of their entire life.

Your approach to the essay discussion is not based on the required format. You have made a mistake in understanding the discussion requirements. That is why you made a mistake in your discussion approach to the essay. Please look at the comparison points below to further understand how you made the mistake.

Discussion Question: Do you agree or disagree?
Response: Although some argue that this tendency causes disadvantages to children, there are a large number of benefits that children receive from this trade-off.

As you can see, the discussion instruction asks you to base your response on the "agree or disagree" question. You responded in an advantage v. disadvantage format. You did not respond in the expected format. The examiner will see this error and understand that you did not understand the discussion instructions. That is why you did not properly respond to the question provided and you did not base your response on the suggested approach either.

Again, you used a comparison discussion for a single opinion defense essay. That is why the essay will not get a passing score. You failed to properly understand the discussion requirement (agree or disagree) and discussion format (single opinion reasoning). Luckily, this is your first practice essay and we caught your weakness early on. There is still time to correct your error.

I would advise you to not write another Task 2 essay until you have familiarized yourself with the various discussion formats and approaches that the test requires. Once you are familiar with the proper approaches, then you can try to write another essay. You don't have to go far, just read the Similar Discussions [+] thread above. That will get you started on the familiarization road.

I know that you are capable of writing a large amount of English words. However, if you not responding in the correct manner to the discussion presentation, then that ability will not be able to help you pass the test. Long essays are never an assurance of a passing score. So forget the length, focus on a proper response approach first. As long as you write at least 250 words, you will stand a better chance of passing the test. It is your ability to follow instructions that will be scored, not your ability to type hundreds of words within 40 minutes.

@Holt
Thank you a lot for your points. You're right. I did a wrong way of format, I will read other discussions to be more familiar with the structures before writing another task. I really appreciate your comment. It helps me a lot.

according to my prosepective i agrre to the fact that with this modern lifestyle parent really find it hard to forcus on thier offspring. parent of this modern time focus more on their work than the affairs of thier children making this children turn wayward at thier early stage