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Money has become an essential part of everyday life; job satisfaction vs salary?



Natalia Pham 1 / -  
Jan 2, 2018   #1
Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree?

job satisfaction is more vital, money is less significant



In the modern era, money has become an essential part of everyday life. There are those who say that the worker should choose a job with high wage, however others believe that people who is seeking an occupation should think about job satisfaction. This essay will examine both sides of the argument and provide an overall opinion. Generally speaking, there are is a wide range of reasons why people believe that big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Perhaps the main reason why people are favour of this ideas is because money in very crucial and necessary for survival and make people lead a happy life. This is because everybody needs money to pay for cost of living and money also helps quality of people life is better and happier. In addition, when people have a job with a high salary, it makes them feel satisfied and they do not care anymore what kind of job they do. As a result, people can enjoy their life.

Despite these arguments, there is also a case for the idea that job satisfaction is more vital than the work which is a big salary. Perhaps the main reason why people think that it keeps people motivated and people can promote at work. As a result, people have a chance to lead a career growth and going to set up own company. Moreover, money does not matter as people do the work they love. For example, a lot of famous people around the world say they choose their job because of passion such as Henry Miller, a famous writer.

In conclusion, this is a topic which is very relevant to modern society. I am of the opinion that job satisfaction is more important than high salary because if people can do the job that they love, they not only earn money, they also live with it. Everybody has its own strengths so discover them.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15393  
Jan 2, 2018   #2
Phạm, the minute that you changed the discussion format for this essay, you already assured yourself of a failing score. When you proved that you could not appropriately address the prompt requirements as outlined in the Task Accuracy section, the examiner already made up his mind to fail you in this essay. Why did he decide on that? The reason is simple, you were asked to agree or disagree with the statement instead, you opted to examine both sides and offer a personal opinion. 2 sets of instructions that is not included in the original prompt. Let me show you exactly how you made this mistake:

Original Discussion Instruction: Do you agree or disagree?
Your Discussion Instruction: This essay will examine both sides of the argument and provide an overall opinion.


See the difference? The original requirement was a single sided opinion discussion. Your version, creates a comparative analysis essay with a personal opinion to boot. This is definitely not what the original instruction is about. Hence, the automatic failing score.

Regardless of how you discussed the rest of the essay, which by the way, is short of the 5 paragraph requirement and also does not follow the maximum 5 sentence requirement per paragraph (even more reason to fail the essay in terms of C&C and GRA considerations), it does not erase the fact that you showed a lack of understanding of the English language when it comes to following instructions. That is why this essay is not going to get you a passing score in terms of any major scoring considerations.
PeterBrown 16 / 25  
Jan 2, 2018   #3
I believe this is an academic essay and thus, you should avoid using words such as there are there is a lot of etc
There are those who say ...

... favour of this ideas is because money ...

It should be idea instead of ideas,
This is because everybody needs money to pay for cost of living and money also helps quality of people life is better and happier.
This sentence is a bit confusing, especially the last part,
This is because everybody has to cover their cost of living and that money improves the quality of people's life.
Your vocabulary is quite simple as well.


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