The media pay too many attentions to the lives and relationship of celebrities such as actors, singers or footballer. They should be more time reporting the lives of ordinary people.
The powerful of news about popular people on diverse of mass media is very influence in recently. He famous people such as entertainment workers and sport athletes dominate in news. I think we have to know other side of live that need more attention and it uses to be reported such as general people. I totally agree that inhabitant people is necessary to be blew up.
Everybody has a curiosity to know about the information. For instance, it is aim to fulfill their need for news. I believe that the most important news should be come from general people especially about every experience that happen in their live. We have to report about ordinary people, because they are larger element in a country according to job than the celebrities. This case, because there are many phenomenons that experienced to the people, which those are necessary to be known and to be reported. Such as, an outbreak of disease, flood and conflict. Those condition very essential because refer to sustainable people's lives. If, the ordinary people don't be reported may can increase the nation's problem. However, general people important to be known, there are other sectors that also important such as actors.
On the other hand, there are advantage side of news about artists. They bring positive effects such as they may become a role mode for the citizens, because they affect to people's life by their appearance on TV or films. For example, the actor can attract many people by their talent. So the citizens will follow what they say. In this case, there is an opportunity to change people to be better the future life. For example we can persuade film player as ambassador of environment. So if they safe clean and aware to around area. The people will take action same like them.
At the end, I believe that news about citizens is very necessary to be known, the news can raise sustainable people's life. But also, they have to concert with other sector like an actor, which they can be role mode to change our behavior, so think we have to sort the news especially that important and sustainable to our need.
He famousFamouspeople such as entertainment workers entertainer and sport ...
... know other side of
livelife that need more ...
I totally agree that
inhabitant peopleinfamous people is necessary to be blewblown up.
Well ba'da, i have some corrections for you.
1. He + Famous ---> Pronoun + Adjective ???? It can't be like that. It must Subject/Pronoun + Verb.
2. Entertainment workers : I think it has very wide meaning. It can means the cameraman, reporter, etc. So, i recommend to change into entertainer that have closer meaning to an artist.
3. Live : tinggal // Life : Kehidupan. So, what's the most appropriate?
4. inhabitant people : Inhabitants already means people, so why you write it together?
5. blow --> blew ---> blown. For negative, use Verb 3
Those condition very essential because it refer to ...
6. Because + subject / pronoun + verb ===> Because it refer
If, the ordinary people don't be reported, it may can increase ...
However, although general people important ...
7. it may can ---> subject + may + can + verb
8. However, although ---> Refer to contradict, because you have two sentence that combine into one sentence. So, you must add although *let's translate it to make easier to understand :
Namun demikian, orang biasa penting, untuk diketahui, ada sektor lain yang penting seperti aktor
Namun demikian, walaupun orang biasa penting untuk diketahui, ada sektor lain yang penting seperti aktor.
However, general people important to be known, there are other sectors that also important such as actors. (LAST SENTENCE 3RD PARAGRAPH)
On the other hand, there are
advantage sidemany advantages of news about artists. (FIRST SENTENCE FOURTH PARAGRAPH)
9. Repetition. You have the same aim for those sentence. I recommend for erasing the last sentence in 3rd paragraph.
10. advantage side ---> Noun + Noun . It's wrong. Side must be followed by adjective such as : Positive sides, negative sides, etc. Advantages already have meaning positive side, so, you not allowed to combine advantage side.
... they may become a role
modemodel for the citizens, because ...
11. model not mode
For example, the actor can
attractattracts many people by their talent.
12. actor ---> singular, must be followed by verb s ---> attracts
So if they
safe cleankeep cleanness and aware to around areathe surroundings . The people will take action same same action like them.
13. If they...... ???? ---> Jika mereka menjaga kebersihan dan peduli sekitar ? terus maka apa ??? STICK TO THE ENGLISH PLEASE
14. safe clean ---> adjective + adjective ??? I recommend to change into keep cleanness ( Verb + noun)
15. around area ??? ---> it's true but unusual. So change into surroundings.
16. action same ??? ---> same action. It is reversed.