SAT: What motivates people to change something in their life?! (I wrote in 25 minutes)

The word "change" makes many people nervous, anxious, and full of fear. Why we fear the changes? What does stop and motivate us to do any change? I am more conservative person, but in some fields of life I do lots of changes. In nowaday's globalized world, we need to accept some changes in order to survive and grow our potentials.

Most people are afraid of changes, so do I. This fear comes from facing unknown conditions. The psychology of any beings makes them fear of unknown things. This works for saving creatures' lives since they were born, because unknown things can be dangerous. So, to overcome the fear we need to know "the unknown things" better. For instance, I am not used to change the order of my books in my book shelf, I am afraid of doing so, because I think it will take me more time to search books by their new order. However, after sorting lots of "unnecessary" books and leaving only the needed ones and putting them in order of common usage, I feel more comfortable. So, after many nervous attempts I change something in my life. But the question is "what does motivate me of doing so?"

I usually change something only if it is necessary. I get my motivation form lots of things: comfort, wealth, self-esteem, and success. Everyone has their own definitions of motivation and success. People usually accept changes to feel more comfortable, wealthy, successful or increasing their self-esteem. For example, in early ages, people in America voted to make the taxes compulsory for everyone. The reason of this voting was that poor and middle-class people believed that rich people will pay more taxes and the money that was paid will improve lives of all America's citizens. This is called Robin Hood Theory.

PLEASE SCORE IT as it is scored in SAT. This is my first 25-minute-essay, It was REALLY hard to write something in 25 minutes!!! In past it took me around 40 minutes to write and polish up the essay! So, please give me some advice...after scoring it. =)

Another essay from my friend, which is written in 25 minutes...

As we know the world always changes and likewise people usually change their opinions. Because they want to achieve more and always try to create a good opportunity for themselves.

At most times changes give us better conditions. For example, when I was fourth class student, I decided to change my school. Because my old school in that time was not able to teach as I wanted. That's why I continued my education at another better school. Of course this change was not easy for me. I lose some of my friends and teachers who said that I must not change my school. But I thought that this change helped me for my future by receiving many opportunities. After I began study at new school at first time it seemed difficult to me. But I finished my new school, I was completely sure that this change was good for me. Because I became more educated than my old friends and entered to the best lyceum in my country because of my new school's education.

Another important point is today the world is changing year-by-year. This motivate people to change. We change our accommodations, our facilities, our job according to civilization. So, if we don't want to change, we may become out of developed world.

Moreover, one Uzbek scientist once said that people who don't afraid of the biggest changes are more closer to the goal than people who don't like changes.

To sum up, usually changes give us many good opportunities. We must not afraid of changes. We must always do things that we think are true. If we do so our life will become easier.

... Good hook :)


... I don't say this sentence is grammatically incorrect. However, it needs improvement. Sounds a bit confusing when you read it for the first time.



I believe I am rather conservative in my thinking, however, I too embrace change in certain areas because I believe they are necessary for my progress.