Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


Both movies and television has great influence on people.



cutie 1 / 2  
Apr 15, 2011   #1
Both movies and television has great inflence on people. Some think that movies influence them more than watching TV. However, I believe that television
has more impact on ourselves. In my opinion, we may learn morals form TV, may imitate actors' or actresses' wearing style, and also use the same scripts

we heard from soap operas.
First of all, after we watch daily news on TV, we learn morals from them. For example, when we see that people living in the rural area have no

clean water to use, we learn to cherish water and not waste it in case we do not have enough clean water to use. Moreover,if we understand the poor have

to work very hard to earn their living, then we will be grate for what we have now.
Secondly, we imitate those actors' and actresses' wearing style while we are watching commercial advertisement on TV. My sister can function as an
example to illustrate my point of view. Every time she watches her favorite actress appear in the commercial advertisement, she will stare at her
appearance and take notes of her accessories as well as her outfits. Because she has written down the clothes the actrss wear, then she does the shopping

in order to follow her idol's wearing style.
Also, in daily lives children may use the same scripts from soap operas. For instance, when I was an elementary school student, there was a popular

soap opera related to romance. Every time I talked with my friends, they used the scripts from sopera opera and the tones they learned from the main

character to talk with me. Besides, they used the same words to talk with teachers.
It is clear that we may learn morals from TV, may imitate actors' or actresses' wearing code, and use the senternces we heard from soap operas. This is because we are exposured to TVs; therefore, they have much influence on us.

=)) Thank you all for help!!!

engwriting101 - / 23  
Apr 15, 2011   #2
I'm not a teacher.

There are some grammatical errors but your essay still has a flow. A more organized way of answering the question, How does television influence people's behavior, is connecting your main ideas.

For example, you write, "In my opinion, we may learn morals form TV, may imitate actors' or actresses' wearing style, and also use the same scripts we heard from soap operas."

These may be different ways television inlfuences people but you could connect them by talking about their impact on viewers, or society. When you talk about people learning morals from watching television you could talk about why this may or may not be a good thing. Should people learn morals from television, is it a healthy resource for morals or just education?

This is just an example, it would add some depth.
findthetime 5 / 9  
Apr 19, 2011   #3
I agree with engwriting101
Maybe you could use "people" or" individual" to replace your own experiences.
because it should reflect the common influence that TV on people but not only for yourself.

and the structure need to be pay more attention,
beginning,body, conclusion...
it would be clear for yourself the examiner ..

personal idea..hope it can help you.:)


Home / Writing Feedback / Both movies and television has great influence on people.
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳