Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 5


IELTS : museum is for education or for entertainment? BOTH



somysojan 8 / 14  
Jan 28, 2013   #1
question: some people think that museums should be enjoyable places to entertain people,while others believe that the purpose of museum is to educate.discuss both views and give your own opinion.

museum's role in today's world



Museum is considered to be a depository for collecting and displaying objects having scientific,historical or artistic value.Many people have the opinion that a museum should stand only for imparting information, whereas some others assert that it should be an amusement area to make people happy. To my mind, an acceptable museum is something which satisfies both educational as well as aesthetic need of an individual, irrespective of their gender,age and believes.

Firstly, a museum is the best information reservoir of the past. It brings tremendous opportunities for us to have an insight about prehistoric life by seeing the exhibited specimens.Precisely, learning something by seeing is much more efficient and that glues to our memory for permanently than learning by reading books. For example, prehistoric stone sculptures or certain tools which are showed in a museum passes on great information to the visitors to have a significant insight of those things than that of reading of those online or on books.This is the reason why many people asserts to restrain museum as only a means of educational tool by governing its importance on imparting knowledge.

On the contrary, the argument of seeing a museum as a means of amusement is also to be discussed. Because, the specimens which are exhibited in a museum can have great artistic value and those can make people entertaining to a great extend.For instance, an old drawing of Leonardo da vinci or Raja Ravivarma,has great aesthetic value and which is adorned on the wall of a museum can bring about great joy to the visitors.

Finally, it seems to me that, both the arguments which are listed above have its own importance regarding the concept of a museum. So a museum should be an institution which is for both education and for entertainment. Why because the visitors of different gender,age and interest are equally satisfied by the use of a museum. Moreover, the hike in the number of visitors can provide the museum more lively and also provide a significant proportion of revenue for further modification of the museum.Thus it should attract more people of various places by fulfilling their needs to a very large extend.

dumi 1 / 6793  
Jan 28, 2013   #2
To my mind, an acceptable museum is something which satisfies both educational as well as aesthetic need of an individual, irrespective of their gender,age and believes

Well.... first, the word "aesthetic" is concerned with beauty or the appreciation of beauty. However, your prompt is about "entertainment" which really does not refer to "aesthetic appealing" direct. You need to align your writing with what is expected by the prompt and it is very important for you to earn good scores for this task.

Secondly, you talk about differences of gender, age and beliefs. However, your topic has no relavance for these issues and hence that inclusion sounds a bit irrelevant.

This is my suggestion;
In my view, museums need to satisfy both educational and entertainment requirements of individuals. ... Be more direct when expressing your opinion.
OP somysojan 8 / 14  
Jan 28, 2013   #3
tnx alot callie..and dumi..for the corrections..
wroeykid09 2 / 8  
Jan 28, 2013   #4
brilliant. simply divine.
joythblessy 86 / 266  
Jan 29, 2013   #5
Hai somy..

Overall good attempt..
Your opinion about why museums to be enjoyable is weak in terms of sentence,strength..

conclution is longer than the prvious para..
All the best..
Tessy


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS : museum is for education or for entertainment? BOTH
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳