Unanswered [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


Task 2. Both museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourist rather than local people?



Ra_fhli 22 / 17  
Feb 3, 2016   #1
It is argued that foreigners more attracted to visit some museums and historical places rather than local people. The predominant factor of this problem is lack of attractive facilities, however, the way to tackle this, government should fill out both places by sophisticated technology.

The reason why local people have less interest to visit museums and historical sites is both places genuinely not provide an impressive facilities. People majority have a tendency to travel in one place when its place offers unique and well-favored situation. Largely some museums and historical sites looked still in the old-fashion model. The result of this is local people tend to overlook those places. A recent study from University of Twente found a fact that from 2010 to 2015, the number of museum visitor in Netherlands had decreased significantly to 55% since some museums are still in the old model. It means that people do not find such interesting thing in that place.

The viable solution to deal with this problem is government should equip both places by cutting-edge technology. Some technology facilities are possible to be presented to the local community like 3-D and touch-screen computers. The result is the number of local people who visit either museums or historical places certainly will boost rapidly since people have more tendency to be curious toward the new one. To illustrate, in my country, Indonesia, initially, local people think it is unnecessary to visit historical places when the excursion time as the facility is merely monotonous. Since the government facilitate a whole of the historical places with sophisticated technology in 2015, public interest has increased rapidly. This is the greatest way to encourage local people more aware of both of places.

To conclude, less of an attractive spot is the principal problem leads local people to overlook museums and historical sites. However, this problem can be addressed by the advanced of technology within those places. It is imperative that some serious consequences should be taken into considerations.

Crystal812 23 / 55  
Feb 4, 2016   #2
You have a good command of advanced words, but you probably have a problem with usage. Try to refer to example sentences before using words. In addition, could you please pay attention to clauses? Look at the following two examples and focus on the function of words "that" and "how", which are very important parts of the clauses.

e.g. What he emphasized again and again wasthatthey should never retreat even for an inch no matter how hard it was.

The question ishowpeople can find an effective way to store the sun's heat.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________

It is argued that foreigners are more attracted to visit some museums ...

The reason why local people have less interest to visit museums and historical sites is that both places genuinely do not provide an impressive facilities. People majority (???) have a tendency to travel in ...

The result of this is that local people tend to ...

The result is that the number of local people ...
... local people think it is unnecessary to visit historical places during the excursion time ...
This is the greatest way to encourage local people to be more aware of both of places.

... spot is the principal problem leading local people to overlook ...
... can be addressed by the advanced of technology within those places.


Home / Writing Feedback / Task 2. Both museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourist rather than local people?
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳