Music cannot be substituted. People can't live without it.

the importance of different kind of music

Nowadays, people have a variety of different musical styles to listen. Listening music have turned into indispensable part of a life for a wide range of reasons, and I would argue that traditional music outweighs the international music.

The reasons why this activity have become the necessity comes from our childhood, as most kids enjoy listening music. As a result, in their later life, they have a tendency to consider the music as an essential tool which cheers them up. Apart from the type of entertainment, in most countries, listening music is regarded as an effective method to contribute learning process ranging from different languages to basic skills. Music is also an integral part of typical adult's life. Due to the fact that music can express and arouse our feelings which we cannot explain with words, most people see it as a need of the soul.

In the light of increasing presence of the international music, some people think the traditional music used up its time. I completely disagree with this idea, as the traditional music carry more meanings than the international music such as the culture or history of the country. It can easily be understood the traditions or lifestyles of the people in early days just by listening such kinds of music. On the other hands, the international music is a commercial product, so put more emphasis on catchy notes rather than meaningful words. It will be so disappointing if one day the traditional music disappears from the music lists because of growing popularity of the pop music.

In conclusion, music cannot be substituted by any other activity for aforementioned reasons, I restate that traditional music is more valuable than new types of international music because of the hidden meanings behind it.

Adam, you really did some pretty impressive work on this essay. You really understood the prompt and did your best to discuss the questions posed by the prompt. However, your excellent understanding of the prompt requirements was affected by the weak paraphrased opening and closing statement that you presented. While you did present the first few questions properly in the opening discussion, you lacked a representation for the part of the prompt that dictates:

Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

While you presented an explanation that stated your opinion on the matter, there was no foundation for the response you provided. Before you can present an overview response, you first need to present the paraphrased question. Without the questions provided first, the outline of the discussion that is to follow becomes confusing to the reader.

In the conclusion, you represented only the response to the importance of traditional music. You did not properly conclude the essay by restating the prompt requirement through a summary of the important points you discussed in the essay.

Based upon the slight problem with the paraphrasing and the grammar structure errors in the essay, I believe that you can only get a possible score of 5 on this essay.