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IELTS WRITING TASK 1 - Musical albums purchased in the UK according to sex and age



Tran Minh Hien 4 / 10  
Jul 29, 2018   #1
Topic: The graphs below show the types of music albums purchased by people in Britain according to s3x and age. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

who buys music albums in the UK?



The given bar charts illustrate the percentage of people who buy 3 different types of music albums in the UK, namely pop, rock and classical music, classified into various genders and age groups.

The data shows that between the two genders, men always buy music albums more than women. Among 4 age groups, the one of between 25 - 34 years old has the highest percentage on average, while people above the age of 45 tend to buy music albums the least.

People who purchased Pop and Rock music are dominantly male, with 28% and 25%, respectively. In these two genres, the percentage of male buyers is at least 10% higher than that of female buyers. However, in the category of Classical music, even though male percentage still exceeds female percentage, the gap between two figures is less than 4%, with around 6% for female buyers and nearly 10% for male buyers.

Looking at different age groups, it is clear that most musical albums were purchased by people between 25 and 34 years old. This age group made up above 30% of all purchases for both Pop and Rock music, which makes it the biggest group in these 2 categories, while the smallest percentage is of the group over 45 years old. In contrast, the highest percentage of buyers for Classical music albums belongs to the group of people who are from 45 and above, and the smallest group is of youngsters from 16 to 24 years old.

(248 words)


  • musicalbumspurchas.png


PaulthePhoenix 4 / 16  
Jul 31, 2018   #2
Hi Hiền, the essay is great, well expression, rich lexical resource. I just make one comment on the sentence: it is clear that most musical albums were purchased ... You should avoid using this is clear or this is obvious (as if this is so clear why don't you are asked to analyze it). Instead you should correct it the graph show musical album is most bought by people from 25 to 34.

Good luck with your study!
OP Tran Minh Hien 4 / 10  
Aug 1, 2018   #3
Thank you for your comment. I find that this essay is just too long (over 200 words) while the suggested length is just around 150 -170 words ( mainly because it's time-consuming to write such a long report). However, I'm struggling with reducing its length without cutting the content. I think that all these points are necessary, and I can't remove any thing. Do you have any suggestion? Could you think of any way to rewrite my long sentences? I'll be grateful.
PaulthePhoenix 4 / 16  
Aug 1, 2018   #4
It's fine Hien. Given in this specific topic with 3 graphs combined into one essay, I think the length is just about right. However, you need to watch the time. As long as you can finish it in 20 min, it is ok


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