Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 5


The natural resources are being consumed at an alarming rate.What does it cause?how solve?



Sundin 2 / 6  
Nov 8, 2013   #1
The natural resources such as oil,forests and fresh water are are being consumed at an alarming rate.What does it cause?how can we solve these problems?

In rencent years,many countries are facing a thorny issue that economy has been developing in a striking rate,with a consequent damage on natural environment.Although serious problems have arisen as a result of this,there are solutions and the state should raise environmental awareness amongest the general piblic.

One of the main consequences of this phenomenon is the scarcity of natural resources.There is no doubt that deforestation,dissipation and coastal waters imposing a burden on ecosystem,and most countries put the economy and technology on the most significant place rather than considering the 'earth'.In order to achieve the maximum production and profit,factories and industries exploit resources excessively regardless of the disasters they may cause.Another major result is the ecological unbalance,so it can not recover its situaion timely.For example,there ae much pollutions,sewage and used water contaminated river everday,and industrial waste contain small amounts of rodiactive materials which are extremely detrimental for economical balance and our health.So,it not only attributes to resources shortage,but also causes huge catastrophes such as oil erosion,global climate change and the death of the forests in the world.

It is important that action is taken to combat these problems.Governments should ensure that adequate legislation and controls are in place that will prevent the overuse of natural resources,such as special environmental protection standard and strict laws.Individuals also have a part to play,they need to introspect and supervise their activities,thereby they might know what consequences would happen and how to avoild these damage on environment.Industries and companies must also attach importance to nature;for instance,there are many techinical equipment and advanced skills can be used on economic development which not only improve the effeciency on works and can make the maxumun production,but also save materials.All in all,no matter what situations countris are exist in,we should protect our raw materials.

To conclude,I would have to say tht economy and environment are not completely contradictory,but an interactive relationship.What we should do is that maintain a balance betwee them,and any country expoilt the resources immoderately but ignore the consequence should be punished to some extent.

beula 3 / 10  
Nov 8, 2013   #2
one of the main problems
always put 's' behind ,for example, one of the major drawbacks is , one of his friends..

.

Another major problem

good linking word
dumi 1 / 6793  
Nov 9, 2013   #3
amongest the general piblicpublic .

... a typo ;)

One of the first problem of this phenomenon is the scarcity of natural resourcsresources .

Well.... the prompt does not ask you for reasons, but what does this issue cause. So, align your writing with its requirement.
I can see you have excellent writing skills. You can easily go for a good band and try for that. Align your writing more with your prompt requirements. Also, practice with time because time factor too is very important thing for this task.

Good luck!
OP Sundin 2 / 6  
Nov 9, 2013   #4
thanks dumi! your adivise help me a lot.

i will take iELTS this month 21st.. > <
dumi 1 / 6793  
Nov 10, 2013   #5
Although serious problems have arisen as a result of this,there are solutions and the state should raise environmental awareness amongest the general piblicpublic.

The second part of the sentence should be taken into a new sentence. It's a new idea. Also, had you concluded your introduction without extending further into that idea, I feel it reads better;

Although serious problems have arisen as a result of this, however, there are some solutions to address them.
Now the reader will move into the body paragraphs with you wanting to find what those problems and the solutions.

,I would have to say thtthat economy and environment are not completely contradictory,but an interactive relationship


Home / Writing Feedback / The natural resources are being consumed at an alarming rate.What does it cause?how solve?
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳