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IELTS : negative effects of technological process ( agree or disagree )


thanhphongct1 5 / 18 2  
Jun 13, 2014   #1
Topic : Human have made a great technological process in the last hundred years. However, this progress has negative effects on people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is undeniable that technological process has brought numerous benefits making human life become more and more comfortable and easy. Some individuals assume that this technological development also causes many drawbacks impacting seriously on our lives. I personally disagree with this view. In the following paragraphs, both sides of the above matter as well as my own view's explanations would be analyzed and given, respectively.

Firstly, it is undoubtedly that thanks to modern technology invented recently, human life has been improved dramatically . Air-conditioners, computers, cellphones, washing machines , for example, is likely to be seen as greatest inventions helping people to reduce stress and time for other activities. Moreover, applying technological science into the preparation of medications also plays a significant role in saving the number of patients' lives.

However, some negative aspects of technological process need to be mentioned clearly. In spite of bring fantastic advantages, technological products have devastated the natural environment indirectly through its production process. This is because exploiting and collecting raw materials as well as essential fuels to serve the production of technological products have destroyed nature seriously. Last but not least, technology may decrease a great deal of creativity in certain groups of people especially children and the youth due to the dependence upon available achievements.

In conclusion, i totally believe that technology has a great contribution to our lives and civilization. We can not neglect profound impact of great technological process on human life; Nonetheless, its adverse effects need controlling more reasonably. (251 words )

can you guys review and ( if possibly ) rate it as well as give me better sentences which can replace mine, thanks alot :D
fikri 5 / 317 71  
Jun 13, 2014   #2
Air-conditioners, computers, cellphones, washing machines , for example, isare likely to be seen as the greatest inventions helping people to reduce stress and time for other activities.

In conclusion, i I totally believe that technology has a great contribution to our lives and civilization. We can not cannot neglect profound impact of great technological process on human life; Nonetheless, its adverse effects need controlling more reasonably.

you have composed your essay well,but try to give more specific examples, you can take from your daily life or your experience
tiaDS 73 / 235 52  
Jun 13, 2014   #3
Why reduce stress? In my opinion, real story is the best an example.

An obvious example of this can be seen from my grandmother who had washed the clothes manual for 2 decades, is using a washing machine for cleaning her clothes recently.
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,208 476  
Jun 14, 2014   #4
I personally disagree with this view due to some reasons . In the following paragraphs, both sides of the above matter as well as my own view's explanations would be analyzed and given, respectively It does not bring any values.

some negative aspects of technological process need to be mentioneddiscussing clearly. Need + V-ING meaning passive.

Last but not least,

you'd better omit this phrase. It doesn't bring any values.

can not

cannot
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,208 476  
Jul 15, 2014   #5
Air-conditioners, computers, cellphones, washing machines , for example, is likely to be seen as greatest inventions helping people to reduce stress and time for other activities.

This is not a clear example, I think. Have journalistic questions to build a clear example. Let's say: how, when, where, what, who, and result. By this, I think you will produce sentences and ideas which are connected and flow together smoothly.


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