New, modern buildings - is it a good investment?

Hi guys, I was preparing for the IETLS, so I need to improve my writing skills. It will be really appreciate to you guys have a look of my articles, thanks again. :)

Task 2:
Too much money is spent on looking after and repairing old bulidings. Some people think money should be spent on buliding new modern buildings. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

new architecture at the expense of historic and cultural values?

Nowadays, the rising brand new high buildings were filled in the cities, and the old ones be paid enough attention as well. Recently, there is a debet among the public that if it's worthy to spend more social resources on the new constructions.

Those supporters regard that it would highly accord to a overall city program when we divided the areas with its fuction,such as commercial center, fitness center, with which provide more facilities to the citzens in their daily life. Besides, more new flats could alleviate the pressure of the house renting that urbanization brings. Meanwhile, it may be more atrractive to those investors.

However, the new ones, in some way, have less historic and cultural values when campared to the buildings that withstand times, for countless museum were fund by this reason . Whats more, what we may paid in the new constractions is expensive, such as the environmental pollution and resource waste.

In a word, In my opinion, making new buildings by destroying the old ones cannot resolve all the problems of urbanization. But the coexist may be a win-win choice.

For'and the old ones be paid enough attention as well', I think you should write'and the old ones needs to be paid attention to'.

Luna, the task 2 essay has a minimum word requirement of 25 words. You wrote only 184 words which means that this essay will not get a passing score. It will fail because you did not meet the minimum word count and as such, did not appropriately represent your skills based on the scoring criteria either. Therefore, you will not be considered for a passing score on any level by the examiner. It is important that you follow all of the requirements of the IELTS task 2 essay, specially with the word count and paragraph number presentation. The specifics are as follows and will never change regardless of the Task 2 prompt. These specifics are meant only for the Task 2 tests and does not apply to Task 1 essays. What you need to make sure that you always do is:

1. Have an opening paragraph that accurately restates the prompt in terms of the topic for discussion, reason for discussion, discussion instruction, and thesis statement at the end.

2. Write at least 250 words for the whole essay.
3. Make sure the essay has 5 paragraphs covering the opening statement, 3 reason discussions, and a closing statement.
4. Present at least 3 sentences, but no more than 5 sentences per paragraph in order to maximize your overall scoring rubic
5. Make sure that you leave at least 5 minutes of the test time to review, revise, edit, and polish your essay presentation.

This being your first submission to this forum, I will be light on you and not dwell on the numerous mistakes in the essay. Instead, I want to focus on helping you correct your presentation format. Once you have the right format in the next practice test, we can review it for more serious errors and corrections.

Hi Holt,thanks for your suggestion. but I was wondering it is necesarry to make my eaasy in five paragragh, I mean I have seen in somewhere the examiner were hate the templet for essays.

Hi

"there is a debet among"=> I think you mean "debate"

As holt said, you did not meet the minimum requirement.I think you can work on your introduction.you can explain what is the opinion of each side of this debate and what reason they bring for their argument. on paragraph 3 you can explain a little bit more.