Unanswered [0] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback % width Posts: 2

The number of people who have a need to go abroad for studying and working purposes is on the rise


n2h 1 / -  
Sep 10, 2022   #1

more and more people are going to other countries for significant period of time, either to find job or to study



In this day and age, the number of people who have a tendency to go abroad for studying and working purposes is on the rise. It is undisputed that this trend can bring certain benefits while living abroad might also be a challenging period of time. This essay will discuss both the pros and cón related to this issue.

On the one hand, there are numerous advantages which can be reaped from staying abroad.
Firstly, heading overseas might be a chance to broaden people's horizons. In other words, there is a great opportunity to contact the multicultural community so they will be more open-minded and adaptive as well as have a great deal of experience in life. Moreover, working or seeking jobs abroad can potentially lead to a better quality of life. This is because

foreign countries not only provide up-to-date teaching methods that help students absorb knowledge as much as possible but also more job opportunities with high salaries and better perks.

On the other hand, despite several merits, living abroad can also have demerits that are worth mentioning. Firstly, studying abroad requires a great deal of money for tuition fees and living expenses which are extortionately expensive. Therefore, the family might suffer from a financial burden that is beyond their ability. People not only face financial problems but also other challenges and difficulties such as language barriers, feeling of loneliness, and isolation. To be more specific, language barriers make people get into trouble with communicating and understanding their friends or colleagues. Furthermore, they could also encounter culture shock including the difference in lifestyle, and cuisine. This can result in feeling homesick and isolated in a new environment. Those hardships could have a detrimental impact on their mental health.

To sum up, studying or working in different countries could be beneficial and harmful in various aspects. From my perspective, I suppose people should take them into careful consideration to find their own way
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,204 4317  
Sep 11, 2022   #2
I believe that the writer has confused the topic focus of the essay by indicating both studying and working as the topic focus. Since there is no reference to this in both the old and new IELTS task 2 questions list, it is possible that the writer tried to makeup his own prompt. This led to the confusing combined topic reference that makes this essay impossible to discuss accurately since the 2 reference subjects have differing discussion targets. He must post the original prompt next time to act as a review guide for his essay.

The restatement is difficult to follow based on the aforementioned reasons. It becomes further confusing to decipher the discussion track due to missing opinion and thesis statement. It is also noticeable that the focus of the discussion is only on the study aspect with little to no reference to the work aspect. This is further evidence of an incorrect essay prompt. I am afraid I cannot proceed with reviewing this essay without knowing what the real prompt is about.


Home / Writing Feedback / The number of people who have a need to go abroad for studying and working purposes is on the rise