Numbers of commercial formats of film rented and its sales from a special stall over a 9-year period

The chart below shows the annual number of rentals and sales (in various formats) of films from a particular store between 2002 and 2011.

A breakdown of the information about the number of commercial formats of film rented and its sales from a special stall over a 9-year period is revealed by line graph. Overall, it can be seen that DVD sales dominated the number of buyers from 2004 to 2011. Although rentals and VHS sales had downward trend, Blu-ray sales increased slightly.

To begin, the figure for Dvd sales stood at below 50,000 in the first year, and it rose significantly, with reaching a peaked of 215,000 over following five years. However, 2008 to 2011 witnessed a slight decrease to 180,000, which was threefold greater than in the beginning.

Turning to another analysis, rentals began at 185,000 in 2002, which this number was the most dominant number whilst the others had the least. The number of rentals declined dramatically, and plunged to a low of 70,000 in which this pattern similar with Vhs sales which was a steady fall by 80,000 during the rest of time. Nonetheless, from 2007 to 2011, there was a gradual growth of 5,000 (from 2,000 to 7,000)

Hi Nur, friendly reminder, you forgot to post the chart again.

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There you have it Nur, I can't really judge if this analysis is correct as I don't have the basis for it, however, I edited the sentences, following the English language rules and so far, the above corrections are suggested. You were able to come up with a good analysis base in the flow of the sentences and I hope you continue doing so. When you're on your next writing project, mind your 'which', 'that', this' with', this words are essential in completing the essay, however, this does not necessarily mean that you have to put them in every phrase of the sentence.

I hope my insights help.