Ray, I can see that you have a great potential in writing, your lexical resource is outstanding. I also like your tenses consistency, it only left minor grammatical mistakes. However, there is no perfect writing after-all, you still need more development towards your complexity of sentences, because some of your sentences is confusing. Remember, clarity is the king. Try to reduce your confusing sentence to the lowest frequency. Now, for a description of your grammatical errors, with some corrections applied.
it was stood up at
it stood at
to the end of period
in the end of the period
(pick one: thrice / three times, do not mix them)
lower than at beginning.
lower than the beginning
The same trend showed by the figure of VHS sales which decreased although this format just available for purchasing....
(confusing sentence, I think this is because the ratio of your subjects and verbs was not balance)
The same trend showed by the figure of VHS sales was decreased although this format was just available for purchasing....
One more thing to remember, you MUST UPLOAD the image of the chart. If you continuously do the same mistake like this, I will not be able to give thorough feedback towards your essay. I hope my feedback will be valuable for your future development. Keep up the good work! :)