Unanswered [5]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia



chidung 1 / -  
Aug 7, 2024   #1
The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line chart indicates information on the participant numbers for various activities at a social center in Melbourne, Australia between 2000 and 2020. Overall, the figure for film club was considerably higher than the others and remained relatively stable, similar to the rate for martial arts. The figure for table tennis and musical performances, in addition, experienced a substantial increase, whereas the number of individuals who attended amateur dramatics decreased sharply.

As can be seen, throughout most of the period, the rate of film club maintained at around 65, despite a slight drop to approximately 60 in 2010. The figure for martial arts, likewise, remained at roughly 35 even though it had a more erratic pattern and a slight fluctuation from about 30 to 36 during the period given.

Additionally, the figure for table tennis began at around 15 and had risen marginally to exactly 20 prior to a dramatic surge in 2010 to slightly more than 50 at the end. The participant numbers in musical performances, similarly, although there were not any participants in the beginning, experienced a substantial growth in 2005 to around 10 members before increasing steadily to nearly 20.

In contrast, the figure for amateur dramatics started at approximately 25 and then rose marginally to nearly 30 before plummeting to merely less than 10.


  • Screenshot2024080.png


Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15470  
Aug 7, 2024   #2
Good formatting for the summary overview. You correctly attached the trending statements with the summary overview. You will get extra points for this correct format presentation. However, a slight deduction will be applied due to your first sentence being a run-on. Always use one idea per sentence. Do not risk GRA and C+C deductions based on dual information presentations in a sentence. If the reference points are different for the ideas, in this case the timeline, then give these one dedicated sentence each. This long sentence problem is a consistent situation in your reporting paragraphs. Try to utilize the full 5 sentence allowance per paragraph to add clarity and coherence to your information sharing.


Home / Writing Feedback / numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳