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Obese people overwhelm the healthcare system? - IELTS WARRIOR



Mr Calma 17 / 2  
Aug 24, 2025   #1
The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The increasing trend of obese people is pressuring the healthcare system due to health disorders. Some argue that the most effective measure is adding extra physical training sessions. In my opinion, I completely agree with this solution because it not only stimulates students' eagerness but also promotes their physical strength.

One of the primary benefits of the introduction of more PE lessons is improved student engagement. Instead of following traditional methods, applying this new policy can create a refreshing approach, thereby encouraging learners to participate in sports games and physical activities. By doing these activities regularly, students can burn fat during the process, helping them enhance their flexibility. For example, many classes in Japan allow students to take part in numerous physical lessons, which is helpful for stress relief and burning off surplus fat. As a result, schools can alleviate the proportion of obesity and illness in students.

Additionally, the growing number of PE lessons can also foster students' physical well-being. By having access to novel knowledge related to physical health transferred by their teachers, learners can construct a good training session, which is a fundamental basis for keeping fit. For instance, providing more PE classes in Vietnamese schools gives students more opportunities to play sports, which helps students build good habits and cultivate a lasting interest in physical activities. Therefore, it makes them avoid a sedentary lifestyle along with chronic diseases, and contributes to a healthy physique.

In conclusion, organising more PE classes can pave the way for boosting their participation and sustaining healthy physical condition. Due to its key advantages, I totally advocate for this solution.

I am looking forward to your support!!!
Mr Calma
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15921  
Aug 25, 2025   #2
adding extra physical training sessions

The reference in the sentence is incomplete. Where are the sessions to be added? It is stated in the original prompt as "physical education lessons in school". There is no location mentioned in your sentence version so that will confuse the examiner and he will deduct points for the incomplete sentence construction. It created an inaccurate prompt restatement and will heavily affect your preliminary score. The saving grace of this paragraph is the fact that your writer's opinion is direct and on point. It includes the necessary simple topic references for the reasoning paragraphs.

Another thing that you did right in this discussion is that you stayed on point by defending your opinion with valid reasons and connected paragraphs. That shows that you fully understood the implied discussion requirements. This will add to the positive scoring considerations for your presentation.

However, your closing paragraph is not a correct reverse summary as expected. Though you present a good summary, you forgot to restate the prompt and discussion requirements from the original. So some points will be lost again. However, I believe that this type of presentation can receive a passing score in an actual test. It could receive a base passing score.


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