What is the quesion of this topic? It is hard to check your writing without clear prompt.
The 'age old' question of whose responsibility are the poor old people who have no source of income and elderly who
cannot take of themselves . there is a question whose responsible for the supporting of seniors' health. Some section of people suggest it is the responsibility of the immediate family;while
others would arguethat it is the government's duty to take care of the older people.the is essay we will provesee that
the government is more equipped and are more accountable to handle this duty.
Firstly,the older citizens of Britain may not have any immediate familyFirst sentence should be topic sentence not example!
In case,thea retired person may not have a family
or even in case where thea family has desserted him for a reason .In this case, which is most probably the the reality of
many old people, the government has to take the onus and take care of of itsthese citizens.In addition, The country's law may is not not be implemented to force a family to take care of their parents or elderly. Also,it would be really difficult to enforce such a law.
Second paragraph should be concentrated on the other side of the issue - family
Secondly, good goverment's schemes can be implemented to assure the well-being of a person people after his/her they retirement.The
policies like provident funds and other low risk financial plannings can be backed by the government to ensure that a person is
well covered for his living after retirement and also taken care by well devised health palns.The government should educate
its citizens to ecourage to participate and invest in such schemes and encourage people to participate.
Thirdly, it may be immensely costly to afford health care and need of a older person.The government has to step in and
regulate these expenditure as it may be increasingly difficult for the a family to provide.Depending on the economy , the government
difinitely has the financial prowesspower to take care of the older people.
In conclusion, I strongly believethat the government is in the better position to take care of the elderly, also it is the responsibility
of a good government to take care of its citizen
This conclusion does make any sense. You must compare a family and the government and as a corollary make a conclusion.
I wish it is hoped, unfortnatelly you cannot achieve band 7 without the structure of Ielts essay.
Try to learn about Dumi's approach in this forum.
