Nowadays, more and more older people need to compete with the younger people for the same jobs

age competition among the young and old

In recent years, the labour market is becoming more remarkably competitive than before, with the competition between the different ages in search of the same jobs. There are a number of problems that can explain this trend; some solutions need to be implemented to tackle these potential problems.

The chief problem is the employee's real experience. It is obvious that older candidates possess a richer source of experience compared to the younger counterparts who are struggling to find a secure job after graduation. Therefore, recruiters have preferences in hiring aged people which leads to the shortage of work for young generations in job hunting. In addition, the workforce is less productive. Junior workers tend to be more energetic and dynamic; in contrast, the senior workers may have lower levels of productivity due to their health problems or timetables for child rearing.

However, there are a range of possible options to solve the problems. One effective way to deal with this is governments should implement new regulations to decrease the retirement age. Therefore, young generations may alleviate competitive pressures on landing a job. Another answer is that enterprises ought to use both junior and senior employees to create a diversified working environment. Two age groups have the opportunity to learn skills as well as knowledge with each other . This contributes to bringing huge benefits for their firms.

In conclusion, various measures can be taken to solve the problems caused by the competition between old generations and younger counterparts.

Good work on the creative prompt restatement that totally changed the word usage from the original, without changing the topic focus. It is clear that you are referring to the age competition among the young and old. You clearly understood how the rephrasing should be presented to the examiner.

However, you failed to provide convincing opinion thesis statements because, rather than responding to the questions provided, you offered a repeat of the questions instead. By repeating the instructions, you did not provide your clear opinion in relation to the 2 discussion questions provided. There are supposed to be 2 discussion topic references that should tie in with your forthcoming explanation paragraphs. So you will recieve points for the restatement, but will not receive enough point considerations for the thesis statements due to the lack of its proper representation in the paragraph.

You have very strong discussion paragraphs that clearly and appropriately represent the problems and solutions as required. There is a clear relationship between the discussion paragraphs as well. The topics presented are coherent and cohesive. Good work. You stayed on track regarding both discussion questions and developed these ideas in a manner that increases your overall score. Word usage was simple, but applicable to the discussion. You did not seek to impress the examiner with advanced English words used out of context. The simplicity of your discussion is the overall strength of this presentation.

The conclusion is problematic though. You wrote less than 40 words in that paragraph. It lacks the required elements of:
- Topic restatement
- Summarized causes
- Summarized solutions
- Closing sentence

This inaccurate summary conclusion, along with the incorrectly formatted opinion statement in the restatement+opinion paragraph are the weakest portions of this presentation. These will be the score reducing sections and can really pull down your final score in the process. These are the sections you should work on improving the next time you write a prompt that uses the causes and solutions format.

Hello, Jasmine. Hope this suggestion would help you, I used to struggle from the same problem that shown on this writing: lack of elaboration.The ideas are amazing, but the details given seem not relevant to the ideas.

I assume that most of our writing teachers told us to writing bullet points and fit them in "Firstly", "Secondly" and other order words like that. But it is not true. It is better to explain just one ideas in each paragraphs, and the following sentences in the paragraph should explain and elaborate more details about your idea with some concrete examples. So the examiners can better understand your ideas.