Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2

There is one activity that teenagers recently prefer, and it is purchasing goods

dimdim02 7 / 13 1  
Jul 16, 2018   #1

shopping is the favorite pastime for most of the young people.

why do you think is that?
do you think they should be encouraged to do some other useful activities?

There is one activity that teenager like the most recently, it is purchasing of goods from stores without consider of usage of goods they bought. this phenomenon is caused by psychological factor. this essay will describe youngster should use their time and money to decent things such as joining art class or doing some sports.

According to the survey which is released by university, 8 of 10 juvenile feel happy after they bought something, they said this make their stress relieved. research said that shopping can bring happiness to those doing this activity, but it has continue effect, shoppping lead people get more tension because they feel guilty because what they bought actually is not useful.

Whereas, there are a lot of thing that youngster can do to relieved their Anxiety. for instance, doing sport or joining an art class. with those activities, they not only invest in money, but also invest in skill which they got can useful in the future, moreover they will get income if the want to share their skill.

to sum up, the reason why young people do shopping is to relieve their anxiety about school or work. in fact, the goods that already bought is not actually necessary, on the other hand, teenager should do useful activities such as join art class, or sport.

Holt [Contributor] - / 9,515 2959  
Jul 17, 2018   #2
Dimas, this essay shows that you have a problem when it comes to properly developing the sentence structure, punctuation, and English vocabulary when composing sentences and/or paragraphs. Your grammatical errors are such that the essay becomes so difficult to read that the reader finds himself unable to truly understand what it is you are trying to say within each sentence, more so with each paragraph. You need to practice developing English sentences in a simple form before you continue with your practice tests. This essay in particular is quite difficult to comprehend because of your lack of control over sentence development.

You also make reference in the essay to some sort of survey and research information which is not properly cited. Therefore, this cannot be considered an accurate piece of information. The Task 2 test requires you to use only popular knowledge and personal experience or information when discussing the topics. That is because you cannot waste time doing research for a given topic, nor will you have time to look for a computer to do research on. This is a pencil based test. Remember that.You definitely will not have access to any research materials at the testing center so don't refer to research in your succeeding practice essays.

Home / Writing Feedback / There is one activity that teenagers recently prefer, and it is purchasing goods