Unanswered [16] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 4

IELTs Task one: You live in a room in college which you share with another student.


Jimmy879873 26 / 55 13  
May 30, 2017   #1
You live in a room in college which you share with another student. However, there are many problems with this arrangement and you find it very difficult to work.

To the accommodation officer at the college.

- describe the situation
-explain your problems and why it's difficult to work
-say what kind of accommodation you would prefer


Letter about situation with a roommate



Dear Sir or Madam:

I am glad that I had this opportunity to live in college and it saved me a lot of time from commuting.

However, there are several problems occurred since I moved in two months ago.

Becuase David, Peter and I have different class schedules to attend, we don't see each other very often.

Besides, David and Peter have a school project to follow after they finish their classes, I usually fall asleep before they return back to the room.

Even though they tried their best to not wake me up, unfortunately, I have always been woken and started tossing and turning as soon as they come back.

Due to these reasons, I would like to move to a room with somebody who has similar class schedules and who doesn't have any school project to follow.

Thanks for your time and I am looking forward to hearing from you.

------

152 words.

Link 1 / 2 2  
May 30, 2017   #2
I am glad that I had have this opportunity to live in college and it which and it saves me ...

Becuase Because my roommates - David, Peter...

... and who doesn't have any after-school project to follow.

It is not a nice way to begin a new line when you just finish one sentence.
The problem that you don't see each other very often is not a strong argument: normally you don't move out just because you don't see each other much.
Holt - / 7,528 2001  
May 30, 2017   #3
@Jimmy879873 Your letter is not properly formatted. The letter needs to follow the formal style of address, normally using the block format. Make sure to use a proper, if made up, address for the accommodation officer of the fictitious university. Just like all letters, you need to have a proper beginning, middle, and end to the presentation. Your discussion does not develop a proper presentation for your reasons to request for a room transfer. Try to focus the letter on the problem regarding the scheduling conflicts and the project that they are working on. You have the right idea in the essay. It just needs to be more properly developed by adding more compelling information to the letter. Towards the end, describe your ideal roommate and accommodations requirement and in order to explain why it would be beneficial for you to switch rooms at this point in the semester.
Ashkan123 12 / 33 2  
Jun 3, 2017   #4
Hi

I think your letter is not formatted right.I think you should start what is your request and who you are and in the end, you can say how much you are grateful because you have a chance to live in college and how it helps you to save more money.Don't forget to sign your letter


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTs Task one: You live in a room in college which you share with another student.