Writing task one on how much money in the city council received and if it affected book club members

The line graphs gives information about how much money in the city council received and how many members in the book club for fourth years. Overall, in the first line shows there is fluctuation in amount of money in city council found over the period, and the second line presents there is an upward trends in the number of club members over the period.

The first line in the graph shows there slight increase between first year and second year. In the third year, amount of money has increased dramatically and reached a peak of money received over the period. However in the fourth year was fell suddenly under £ 40,000.

The second line in the graph present there decreased slightly from first year to second year. The number of book club members was rising sharply in the third year. Finally, the last year has reached a peak of book club members.

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Hi Fadhila, the detailed descriptions below are my analysis towards your essay.

1st paragraph:
- The line graphsgraph gives the information about how much money that thein the city council received and how many members are in the book club for fourthfour years.

- Overall, inthe first line(avoid giving unclear information like this, the reader/examiner would never know which one is the first or which one is the second) shows there is fluctuation(avoid over-simplifying the information, unclear introduction would make your band score can only reach 5.0)in ... period.

Let me just rewrite your introduction:
- A breakdown of the information about how much money that the city council received and how many members are in the book club is depicted in the line graph. It is measured in pounds sterling over 4-year period. Overall, it can be seen that, city council has experienced a dramatic growth in the middle of the period but dropped significantly in the end of the period while the number of members in the book club has witnessed the opposite.

Hope this helps :)