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An ongoing discussion whether boys and girls get benefits more at mixed or single-gender schools

sfiza 17 / 28  
Apr 21, 2018   #1
Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

gender (dis)parity in schools

There is an ongoing discussion whether boys and girls get benefits more at mixed schools or single-gender schools. Sometime separate school is proffered for its own attractions, while co-education has specific reasons to choose. This essay will discuss both the views in details to present my opinion.

Students often distract from opposite gender in studying in schools. Naturally girls seem to study in cooperative ways, whereas boys appear to do it in competitively approaches. The differences in approaches lead a distraction in class-discussion usually. As a result their performance experiences a fall. Therefore, single-gender school is regarded as an effective way to address this concern.

Co-education develops a better social communication between boys and girls. Mainly they allow them to know themselves as well as studying together. Their such experience turns an asset for their future lives. In fact using it may bring advantages in workplace as they have to work with opposite sex. Therefore, mixed schools are considered as a worthy educational system.

In my opinion, students need a school where they are able to educate themselves optimally.
Mix schools extend the chance of communication with opposite sex. However, single-sex schools reduce distraction among boys and girls. Eventually, the both are effective in different criteria. Henceforth, the two systems are remarkable to deliver optimal education.

It is apparent that both the systems have considerable impacts on learner's development. That is why some are divided in two opinions in this regard. I would say that both the schools have significant role in education system.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,797 4780  
Apr 22, 2018   #2
Fiza, your essay is not good at all. You merely provided talking points, discussion topics, if you will, in each paragraph but aside from saying the same thing 3 times, you do not really develop the discussion paragraph with relevant reasons, supporting examples, and appropriate transition sentences at the end which will prepare the reader for the change in discussion topic and style in the next paragraph. You are just going around in circles in this essay without making any real impressive discussions nor properly developed sentences. You need to brush up on your English vocabulary and do more sentence development exercises using online available sources or mobile apps. The essay left me thoroughly confused and even less informed than when I started out reading your essay. It is important that you stop thinking in your native language and then translating it to English. That is where the confusion in the paragraph presentation comes from. Think in English, write in English. That is the only way you can practice writing fluency and sentence / paragraph clarity.

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