IELTS WRITING TASK 2: ONLINE COURSES NEVER BE AS GOOD AS IN-PERSON COURSES

TOPIC:
Nowadays, distance-learning programs have gained in popularity, but some people argue that courses can never be taken as good as those by attending a college or university in person.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

That people demand different ways of learning has led to the growth of online courses. It is commonly believed by some that learning in person is better than online courses, I strongly agree with this statement for several reasons.

There is no doubt that learning online has various barriers that lecturers could not handle. First and foremost, the duration of online courses might be interrupted due to error connections that result from weak internet accessibility or overloading accession. Thus, the disconnection might cause confusion and lead to time-consuming during the class. Apart from it, mentors might not be able to observe whether or not attendees are focused exclusively on the class since some students do other activities such as sleeping or eating behind cameras. As a result, learning effectively might be impossible in such online courses.

Moreover, there are several obstacles that could not be solved directly during online classes. It is clear that some students might find it difficult to accumulate side skills along with practical knowledge in distance-learning because they could not interact with their peers face-to-face in order to gain personal abilities in teamwork, such as leadership or cooperating. Furthermore, the interaction between students and teachers is also limited in online courses since there might be thousands of attendees in the class and mentors could not respond immediately when there are questions from students. Therefore, it is considered to be an inconvenient learning approach.

In conclusion, I strongly agree that online courses could not provide effective learning as the mainstream classes for the reasons of network interruptions and difficulties interacting with mentors and peers.

There is a bit of a problem in relation to the restatement of the given topic. It is indicated in the restatement that the students "demand" various ways of learning, a claim that is not supported by the original statement. Therefore, the rewording of the original topic is inaccurate and not task compliant. This will result in point deductions in the applicable section of the scoring rubic.

Now, the response of the writer is acceptable but not really focused on the demands of the response question. The writer should notice that he refrained from using personal pronouns of any sort in this writing. While this acceptable for the general discussion, the scores for the C+C section would have been better had the writer used his personal knowledge, experience, or understanding of the topic. This is something best achieved using first person pronouns since the question clearly indicates the need for personal reference points by indicating "To what extent do YOU..." See the clue in the discussion question?

Though not indicated, the writer should have used several personal aspects for this discussion based on the discussion reference point in the given question. It would have been highly acceptable and score boosting if he used personal examples in reference to the differing learning methods as well, leaning on his experience from the lockdown and the prior classroom instruction he received for his courses.

The first paragraph is not clear and misleading. To paraphrase the question as the topic sentence will be better.
Suggestions, when developing the reasons to support your view points. Try to briefly mention in the first paragraph.
" I strongly agree with this statement for several reasons." When read this sentence, the audience hardly expect the following development in the essay.