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IELTS- opinion about languages dying out


mingming 2 / 5 1  
Nov 26, 2013   #1
Hi, thank you for taking time to read my essay and help me improving my skill by leaving inspiring feed backs.
Question: every year several languages die out. Some people think it is not important that life will be easier if there are less languages.

It reports that every year some languages die out, which seems to be an inevitable process during globalization. Toward this situation, some people welcome it with the reason that fewer languages will make lives much easier. Well, I feel sorry for their such short sights. Frankly, I do think a language's disappearance is a tragedy not only for people who spoke it, but also for our whole world.

First of all, language is a critical part of culture which play an important role in preserving, spreading and passing on culture generationally. In other word, if a language extinct, the relative culture will uproot soon without vessel to carry it which more or less, loss national identity for such groups of people. For example, I met some second and third immigrant Chinese family in New Zealand, some of them can not speak Chinese at all and do not even remember the date of Chinese New Year. Except their appearance, you can not pick up any Chinese influence from their thought and behalf, which seems Chinese culture totally broke at their generation.

What's more, language is a treasure from ancient's wisdom, which is not only used to describe stuff but also to express vision of the world and life. I remember when I traveled in New Zealand, what impressed me most was nearly everyone can speak some Maori language and lots of people(both Maori and non-Maori people) even attend classes to learn it deeply which they seldom can use in their daily life. They revalue Maori culture, after being unvalued and abandoned for decades. So learning Maori language becomes a key way for them to understand and preserve this culture.

Well, it is kinda true that less languages can make lives easier because people can communicate easily. On the other hand, the world will be blankness, if everyone speaks the same language, thinks similarly, behaves in the same way.

As conclusion, it may be a nature process that some languages died out or are coming to an end. Well, what we can do is to make effects to preserve and revalue as many as we can. Otherwise,we may not only loss some languages but also loss some culture.

dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Nov 26, 2013   #2
First, I have a request for you - Please open all IELTS essays in Writing Feedback forum.

Well, I feel sorry for their such short sights.

... This sounds a bit too personal. I think you better leave at a more general tone.

Frankly, I do think a language's disappearance is a tragedy not only for people who spoke it, but also for our whole world.

This is fine. This expresses your opinion very firmly without attacking anybody else :D
First of all, language is a critical part of culture which plays an important role in preserving
Overall, a good essay .... You have very good writing skills. Wish you good luck with IELTS!
sri_1 5 / 8 5  
Nov 26, 2013   #3
It reports that

could have started as " A report/ study reveals that " no need of pronoun, that too, in the beginning of the paragraph.

Well, it is kinda true that les

Avoid slangs. Use proper language. "kind of" instead of "kinda"

a language extinct

language extincts
OP mingming 2 / 5 1  
Nov 26, 2013   #4
Thank you for such useful hints!
SreeSam 12 / 38 7  
Nov 27, 2013   #5
May be we can add some points with respect to - how do we improve this situation..

1. children should be taught about the importance of learning other languages during their childhood rather only concentrating only on maths & science.
2. Students taking up literature courses in colleges and universities should be encouraged and can be supported through sponsors.


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