Unanswered [3] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 4

IELTS writing task 2: In your opinion, what has been the most significant transportation...

NKNam123 2 / 4  
Mar 25, 2018   #1

most useful innovation in the transportation field

Topic: In your opinion, what has been the most significant transportation innovation of the past 200 years?
Over past 200 years, science and technology developed significantly. One of the outstanding achievements is the invention of the plane. That made various changes in historical transportation. In my viewpoint, there are three main reasons associated with this innovation.

At the first place, the generation of plane helps people transport more times quicker than in the past. To be more detail, the plane can move between different places in the sky. Each one has a private airline that is not affected by traffic-signal lights, traffic jam or other modes of transportation. Therefore, Planes are able to move smoothly and quickly. For instance, in the ancient times, it is 12 hours that people spend in moving from Ho Chi Minh City to Ha Noi capital by train or automobile. Nowadays, people can present in Ha Noi after 2 hours flying from Ho Chi Minh City. That helps people save a large amount of time for doing other things.

At the second place, plans are kind of transportation that help people move easily. Nowadays, people can stand in the places where they could not reach or difficult to come in the past like in the top of a mountain or an island inside the sea result by planes. For example, to visit Phu Quoc Island, which is in southeast Viet Nam, from Ho Chi Minh City, visitors must drive 6 hours before moving 2 hours by ship in the past rather than 2 hours by plane in the recent years. Besides, if moving by plane, people do not need to waste time for many times checking-in and waiting in stations. Therefore, it makes transportation easier.

For the last reason, planes are the most convenient transportation for its usefulness. In emergency situations, moving fast is the most important thing because the police or doctor must run out of time. When planes were invented, it became the best choice of the authorities in difficult situations.

In conclusion, the innovation of this mode of transportation developed people's living standard. It makes transportation quicker and easier. It played a primary role in the nation's transportation.

cencenhi - / 1  
Mar 26, 2018   #2
... and technology have developed significantly.
... the invention of the planes, which has made incredibly tremondous changes in the history of transportation.
... three main reasons why I view planes as the greatest innovation of all times.
Holt [Contributor] - / 8,565 2483  
Mar 26, 2018   #3
Nguyen, you need to work on your vocabulary skills. You misused the term "ancient" in this essay. There was no need to make a time reference in this instance. You could have simple said "previous to the invention of the plane..." Rather than saying "ancient" which is a word that connotes "belonging to the very distant past and no longer in existence." which is not what you meant to say. The time from the invention of the plane to our modern times is not yet considered "ancient". Your reference to the planes being useful in medical emergencies left me confused as to what you were trying to imply. It would be best if you try to develop your paragraphs in a more appropriate manner than simply just trying to say something, without appropriately explaining what you are referring to. This is a problem that exists throughout most of your essay and will be the main reason that you could end up failing this part of the essay writing tests in the actual setting.
OP NKNam123 2 / 4  
Mar 26, 2018   #4
@cencenhi @Holt thanks for your feedback, I'll rewrite it :)

Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS writing task 2: In your opinion, what has been the most significant transportation...