Sport at schools
Some people believe that sport is an essential part of school life for children, while others feel it should be purely optional. Discuss these opposing views and give your own opinions.
Sport is considered as a controversial matter in school curriculum as well as the sport industry itself. When discussing over this aspect, many people believe that sport should only be allowed to serve as an optional subject in school while others support the idea that it is vital to school students. In this essay, I will consider both opinions.
On the one hand, sport is felt as a waste of time to students who have no special interest in it. Hence, when being required to attend physical lessons, they will be abysmally irritated and eventually lose their enthusiasm in other sports activities as well. In addition, the expenditure on sport facilities in schools uses up a large amount of schools' budget which is mostly contributed by students tuition fees. As a consequence, if sport is compulsory in every school, this charge will definitely be raised to meet this demand. However, not every family, especially the underprivileged, could afford a subject that is not considered as providing academic purpose.
On the other hand, the advocates of sport believe that the benefits brought by it outweigh those mentioned drawbacks. First and foremost, it can be seen that children who spend time on doing sport have a tendency of being both physically and mentally healthier than those who opt out thanks to the appropriate combination between muscles and neurons. To be more specific, they are not only in good shape but also seem to perform better in academic training with positive behavior such as excellent concentration. Furthermore, the majority of people argue that participating in physical activities, especially those require team-players, gives children lessons about cooperation and communication in addition to making fresh cycle of friends.
Overall, I feel that sport should serve as a compulsory subject in school since the positive effects it brings to the young surpass the negatives. This is as long as the children are provided with a wide range to choose from, to ensure their interest is high, and that the schools invest an acceptable spending on sport facilities.
I think after discussing both views, you need to write one more body paragraph to express your own ideas. And I see in body 1, you use too much connectors which is not a good idea, instead you should use them in moderation.
