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My opinion about TEDTalks: Gary Haugen "The hidden reason for poverty the world need to address now"



Tata77 1 / 1  
Aug 15, 2016   #1
This is my first thread. comment please.. hhehe

On going to the Indonesian Independence Day, I want to speak up about the violence that happened on this country especially on the health sector. Hundreds years ago, millions heroes fight and pawn their soul to save this nation from violence and winning the freedom. They didn't think much about them-selves, they foccused on freedom and I believe that they did that because they won't their next generation feel the same violence. These days, God makes me to see many problems that happens today on Indonesia espesially the problems about the simple failure about compassion. Compassion means "to suffer with". Gary Haugen made my mouth opened. A few month ago, I were ill and take a treatment on hospital about 5 days. There I could feel how the doctors and the nurses served the patients. I was the only one on my room that registered as a general patients and the other using BPJS so I recieve a special serving there. Many poor patients using that because they don't have enough money to put a treatment on hospital. But there I saw with my eyes, that the poor people or people that using BPJS didn't recieved a good served. Maybe I could say that they were unattended. I heard a woman there that her father was poisoned. She called the nurses around 3 times but they didn't came to the father, and finally the father was died. That was not happened one, two, or three times, but thats happened so many times. In my 5 days on hospital, there was many people died because they were unattended by the staff. Where is the compassion? As a nurse student, I understand that we learn about compassion to serve the patient. It means that when we serve our client, we must to suffer with the client and feel the illness. We must thought "how if the client is you or your family" so we couldn't do everthing carelesly. We have the slogan "Nusing is caring" and we have a "compassion" value. After I wrote this comment, I pray to God let my Precident Joko Widodo enforcing the rule of law especially on the health sector. I would feel so asshamed with my self and my next generation if I coudn't raise the freedom for this sector. Someday, I won't my grandchild ask me "grandma, where are you when the the poor didn't receive the law enforcement?", "Grandma where are you when they couldn't speak up?", "Grandma where are you? And why you just silence?". I want all of you stand for your sector and use the the compassion when you do your work. Thankyou.

RezaAnandatama17 8 / 13  
Aug 15, 2016   #2
Let me land you a hand, those are:

1. they foccusedfocused(spelling) on freedom and I believe that they did that(double)such horible activities because they won't (do not cut it) will not their next generation feel the same violence

2. God makes me to seeseeing(continues) many problems that happens today onin Indonesia

3. A few monthS ago, I were ill and taketook a treatment onin the hospital for about 5 days

4. ThereIn such a place, I could feel how the doctors

5. I was the only one on my room that registered as a general patients and the other using BPJS..
I was the only person who stayed in my large room registered as a general patients while others are using health assurance (BPJS).

Please recheck it again ... I hope it is helpful..
OP Tata77 1 / 1  
Aug 15, 2016   #3
Thankyou so much @RezaAnandatama17 😇
Faridadwi18 67 / 93  
Aug 15, 2016   #4
Hi tata,

- I believe that they did that because they won't will not (do not cut it when you do writing) their next generation feel the same violence.

- A few monthS ago, I were ill and taketook a treatment onin hospital about 5 days.
- ThereIn the hospital, I could feel how the doctors and the nurses servedlook afterthetheir patients.

Hopefully it helps.
mem77 62 / 93  
Sep 14, 2016   #5
hello tata, overall, your essay is good and i believe it can give us more information about it. but, i have some advice for you to make your essay more good.

at the first sentence, you write ".............. I want to speak up about....." from my point of view, it could be replace with "....... I want to talk about....." because you write for formal essay, so it is better to use a formal word too. and also your grammar was totally wrong on the second sentence. you write ".......years ago, millions heroes fight ...." the right one is ".....years ago, millions heroes fought...." because in this case, you use past simple tense, so it must show with V2.

i think that's enough from me and keep practice brosis!


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