Opinions of celebrities are powerful for young people who haven't decided their major. TOEFL Writing

The opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are to older people.

the prestige of fame

Some people argue that the opinions of celebrities are more important to younger people than there are to older people. this is because they tend to follow celebrities. Others assert that is not true because affect of opinions of celebrities are equal to young people and older people because they are both independent existences to judge. However, I think opinions of celebrities are more important to younger people who haven't decided their major and haven't enough knowledge to criticize celebrities's opinion. Let me explain in details.

First, the opinions of celebrities can affect to young people who haven't decide their major. This is because their appearance and opinion are really powerful specifically to young people. For example, when I was a high school student at the time many celebrities mentioned how cook is so cool job and how amazing job it is. Also, a lot of them acclaim the cooks who made fabulous dishes in a Television. So, I decided to major in cooking asian food and in hindsight, the reason that I chose was the affect of the opinions of celebrities.

Second, young people aren't enough to able to criticize opinions of celebrities. They tend to believe and follow socially renowned and familiar celebrities. A study was conducted by Tim Rath, the professor, Harvard Social Psychology Behavior Department to understand why many young people follow celebrities than others. The result says that more than 70percentage of the subject who are teenagers follow celebrities. This is because they have a tendency to believe the people they all know. Also, They rely on the people who are familiar like celebrities. These play a vital role for young people to trust mentions of renowned people.

In conclusion, affects of opinions of celebrities are powerful for young people who haven't decided their major and haven't enough background to criticize.

Asol, once again, I will remind you to please post the complete instructions for your essay prompt. Do not use the prompt instruction for your title. That will eventually result in your suspension from the forum. Please post the complete prompt instructions in the message box along with your response essay. Without the complete instructions, I am unable to judge if this is an opinion essay or what. While I can guess what it is that you are supposed to do in this essay, the other students and contributors here may not be familiar with the instructions. In order to make sure that everyone can participate in helping you improve your writing skills, you need to post the complete prompt, not just the topic sentence.

This essay, is an opinion statement that should clearly reflect whether you agree or disagree with the statement. The summary overview that you provided does not reflect your agreement or disagreement. All you had to say was "I fully agree" or "I completely disagree with the statement" in the summary introduction in order to properly complete the paraphrased summary portion.

Based on the prompt requirements, there is no way that you can score higher than a 1. That means that your response to the prompt is questionable because the line of discussion dictated in the instructions were not followed in the response presented. There are also serious problems in the grammar development of the essay that really makes it difficult for the reader to understand what you mean without doing multiple readings. Aside from that, you do not base all of your reasons on well known facts or popular opinion. You actually did research in order to complete the task. Something that you will not be allowed to do in an actual test. So do not do research when you do your succeeding practice tests.