Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 4


Are organisations most successful when members pursue individual wishes and goals?



gmt_snail 3 / 6  
Oct 6, 2010   #1
This is an SAT essay.

Organizations and groups, no matter how many members they consist of, are most successful when the individuals give up personal needs and wants but subordinate to collective needs of the group as a whole. This point can be illustrated in real experiences like the experiment to discover Radium and a classic psychological experiment.

Successful cooperation needs people to consider the interest of the group but not interest of themselves. An impressive example comes from the discovery of radium (Ra) with cooperation between Marie Curie, her husband, Pierre Curie, and another scientist, Dr. Henry. At that time, they agreed to perform individual tasks of the scientific experiment with Pierre conducting the experiment, Marie collecting and selecting the compounds containing Ra and Henry recording and analyzing the data. The National Academy of Science offered Henry and Pierre each a chair as a professor, but they refused them because the position would imprison them in the academy building and teach all day. Their refusal of the well-paid and well-respected job resulted in them to focus on the task they each was responsible for and so Marie, Pierre and Henry were able to do their individual part. Although their experiment took them several years, it was so successful that on a cold snowy morning, they discovered Ra in the end. Had Henry and Pierre not declined to take the position in the Academy, the experiment would not be carried out so successfully.

In addition, a psychological experiment also justifies the importance of giving up personal wishes and goals if the result of the task in the experiment is to be successfully achieved. Several candidates are firstly arranged in a group, each holding one end of a thread in his hand which ties a ball at its other end. The balls are put together in a bottle. When the experiment begins, the members have to pull all the balls out as quickly as possible. Most of the results of this experiment are unsatisfactory-all the balls block the bottleneck but none of them can get out. This is because every member thinks of his own interest, that is, to pull his ball out first, but the overall effect is that all balls are unable to get out. It is the individual interest that restrains the group's interest, and only by sacrificing individual interest can all members get their balls.

In conclusion, members can only contribute to the team if they give up personal interests and wishes but do what the whole group requires them to do. Only team spirit can bring about successful teamwork.

Dear all, I know my English is not that good and this essay probably needs a lot of improvements. Please help me with it!

OP gmt_snail 3 / 6  
Oct 7, 2010   #2
Thinking that I probably misunderstood the question...The question probably askes about the importance to an organisation of each individuals pursuing his/her goals.
So... Please just look through my essay assuming that the question asked about whether it was crucial that individuals sacrifice their own interets but consider the group's interest.

Thanks.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Oct 10, 2010   #3
This point can be illustrated in real experiences like the experiment to discover Radium and a classic psychological experiment.

Right after this sentence, I need to see one more sentence before the paragraph ends... so that I can really understand what your theme is.

Successful cooperation needs requires people to...

refused them because the position would imprison them in the academy building where they would have to teach all day.

I like your examples!! Your English is not as bad as you say it is.
Well... one other good point to discuss is "transactional leadership." That means transactions need to take place so that leaders in an organization can help individuals achieve their goals and in return the individuals work toward organizational goals. Keep practicing! You write well!
OP gmt_snail 3 / 6  
Oct 11, 2010   #4
EF_Kevin
Thanks for your suggestions and encouragement, Kevin. Really.


Home / Writing Feedback / Are organisations most successful when members pursue individual wishes and goals?
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳