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Organizations should provide support to society as its benefits far outweigh costs.



Hidy 2 / 4  
Jul 5, 2017   #1
Some people believe that corporations have a responsibility to promote the well-being of the societies and environments in which they operate. Others believe that the only responsibility of corporations, provided they operate within the law, is to make as much money as possible.

Write a response in which you discuss which view more closely aligns with your own position and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should address both of the views presented.


GRE writing task: Analytical writing



Proponents have always argued that corporations are expected to not only fulfilled their legal tax obligation but also promote with a part of their profit. This has always been a controversial topic with many others - business owners especially - arguing that corporations obligation through tax is more than sufficient. Rightfully so, as many of the corporations are taxed on many fronts. However, it is important to note that the well-being of the environment is the well-being of the corporation. An unhappy society would eventually lead to a chaotic corporation.

A quick example leads us to the exploitation industry in Southern Nigeria where oil rich communities' restiveness constantly reduces output. A situation where wealthy multinational corporations worked in impoverished communities saw disruption in the corporations' daily activities. The result was constant kidnap of oil workers for ransom, blowing up of pipelines, militancy, extortions and lots of other vices. Had the corporations given up a part of their profit to develop and improve on the well-being of the society, they wouldn't have to contend with such outcomes.

Corporations who take responsibility for promoting well-being of their immediate communities also tend to observe an increase in their revenue through sales increase. Such communities return the favour by exclusively patronising their products. Consider the example of a pharmaceutical corporation which extend free medical outreach to surrounding communities, the likely result is a raise in their sales as compensation for their efforts.

Furthermore, corporations project themselves in good light by not only regularly paying their taxes but also taking responsibility if the society they operate in. They give the impression that they are not only about profit but care sincerely.

In conclusion, many organizations should emulate giving back to society as its benefits far outweigh costs.

(30 minutes allotted. Kindly review and state opinions)

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15385  
Jul 6, 2017   #2
Sodiq, how can I put this nicely? The essay that you wrote has some good and bad points. I can see that you did your best to represent the discussion to the best of your understanding. However, you have a tendency to misunderstand the prompt instructions, which resulted in a mistaken discussion of the overall topic. This led to a final score of 3. An overall score that I would give your essay if I were the examiner being made to score you.

The reason that I scored you so low is because you did not properly paraphrase the topic for discussion in the first paragraph. There was no mention of taxes in the original prompt and yet you decided to focus on the tax thing as the point of discussion for this essay. Since you misunderstood the topic for discussion, I could not rate you higher than a 3 in that aspect, and it followed that because you made that serious error, I could not give you a higher score in the rest of the score considerations.

There is also a lack of balance in your discussion. If you review the requirements, you are being asked to discuss both points of view in your essay, with you developing a formidable defense for the opinion that you support. However, there is no opposing discussion being presented in your essay. Therefore, you did not seriously consider all of the possible debatable points for the discussion in order to represent a proper flow of logic and discussion in your essay. The essay that you provided is one sided and does not properly represent the instructions you were provided.


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