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Originality? Is it a fiction since older ideas are mostly prefabricated into some new theories? GRE



kgb66 4 / 12  
Sep 7, 2010   #1
"Originality does not mean thinking something that was never thought before; it means putting old ideas together in new ways.

fake original



Though originality is often considered something that is brand new it is not really possible to be totally original. From nothing, something cannot come. However, like new scientific paradigms old ideas are taken, revisited, added to, or parts discarded, to finally arrive at an original idea. As the old saying goes "it is only on the shoulders of the giants of the past that we are able to stand today".

Charles Darwin is a perfect example of a man who took older ideas and made them into a new theory. For generations farmers selected their best plants for seed for the next year. In so doing stronger strains were created though such manipulations. Animal breeders did the same. The strongest, or heaviest, or best milk producers (depending on the trait being selected) were chosen to mate with their genetic equivalents. Ultimately a herd of animals with the trait more pronounced was produced. What Darwin did was to apply such a concept to nature. His idea was that nature herself was making the decision over what traits would survive into future. The decision making process being made was due to the generations of species with the stronger trait surviving. The end result was Darwin's theory of natural selection.

Fashion designers also take old ideas to make the next seasons originals. Frills from previous centuries, once only seen on outward garments, were applied to underwear to create the tennis pants of the 70's. Women would strut confidently onto tennis courts and flash frills to onlookers rather than the contours of their backsides. It was ideas of the past, slightly manipulated and joined to become a new fashion statement. Today as well, we see older fashions remolded. For example, the pinafore once formerly strictly relegated to the school yard uniform or to the kitchen apron, is now made not with corduroy or cotton as before, but from knits. Women are wearing these pinafores over tights or jeans and not just in the kitchen but to the boardroom as well.

As a final example, chefs the world over create original dishes by taking the ideas and ingredients of two separate cultures and blending them together. In fact, the new term for such cuisine has been created to describe such fusions. It is called, quite aptly, fusion. Food critics rush to make the discovery of the next great mélange to add to the columns of tomorrow's magazine or paper.

Truly, every 'new' idea we have must be credited to those who came before us. It is with a debt of gratitude, to those of the past that who labored before us, that we should be able to appreciate something that is new to our eyes.

EdCho 4 / 9  
Sep 7, 2010   #2
hello, this is ed
i got a message from u n here to give some comments
but just realized this is GRE..omg..
anyways i did my best to leave some comments

1. I see some missing commas.
eg. Though originality is often considered something that is brand new it is not really possible to be totally original.

Though originality is often considered something that is brand new, it is not really possible to be totally original.

2. Your ideas seem really persuasive and sophisticated
but it would be better if you lengthen your final paragraph a bit more
i feel like.. ur body paragraphs flow so well but as it gets into the final one, it just ends so quickly. In other words, your longer final paragraph will brighten your previous paragraphs

since ive never written GRE essay.. my advice may not b perfect
but i tried my best thou :)

Could you critique my essay later when i post them??
Kapayapaanify1 6 / 19  
Sep 8, 2010   #3
Your writing style is really freash, there is a comfortable flow of ideas in the essay which makes it a very interesting and pleasurable read. :)

Your thesis paragraph is very strong, it clearly says that whatever is coming next is going to be good; I guess if you add a few more lines in your concluding paragrah it'll give a coherent ending to your essay.

And I'm not sure how Darwin's example really fits with the prompt, as the Theory of Natural selection is based upon Darwin's observation that those with the "best" characteristics will be more likely to survive not that two or more of the best traits in this world join together to create the best which is most likely to survive. So, according to me this part is pertinent "For generations farmers selected their best plants for seed for the next year. In so doing stronger strains were created though such manipulations. Animal breeders did the same. The strongest, or heaviest, or best milk producers (depending on the trait being selected) were chosen to mate with their genetic equivalents. Ultimately a herd of animals with the trait more pronounced was produced.", but relating it to Darwin's theory is not that right, I mean this is my point of view as a reader it would be good if you clearify my doubt.

By the way I have also written an essay on this prompt, I would be delighted if you read it and tell what you think about it.

take care :D
OP kgb66 4 / 12  
Sep 8, 2010   #4
thanks Miriam,

and for the final paragraph review...

Truly, every 'new' idea we have must be credited to those who came before us. It is with a debt of gratitude, to those of the past that who labored before, that we should be able to appreciate something that is new to our eyes. There would be no e-reader, if a book did not first exist, no cell phone without a land line, and oven without an open fire.

also, please let me know if this is too disjointed to read. if so in the future I will re-post the whole essay

:) thanks for reading!!
Kapayapaanify1 6 / 19  
Sep 9, 2010   #5
The Darwin's paragraph is more comprehensible now that you have elaborated it a bit.

There a few minor errors which I'm pointing out for you:

When farmers selected their best plants for seed for the next year, stronger strains were created thoughthrough such manipulations, thus ensuring the survival of the fittest fruit or grain producing strains. Animal breeders did the same;t he cow that could survive (I didn't get this part, maybe there is a typing error) throwing large calves would be have her male and female offspring selected for a future breeding program with a genetically equivalent mate.

What Darwin did was to apply such a concept to nature. wouldn't it be much better if you rephrase it as "Darwin observed this concept as the very essence of Nature's stability"

I think that the Theory of Evolution is based upon the selection of the fittest by nature itself, to serve as precursors for the next better generation; this theory can be termed as a revelation of the natural process of merging of two best pre-existing entities resulting in the formation a new one, which is as original as it's predecessor or precursor. Darwin was samrt enough to observe it, research it and come to an interesting concept called "Survival of the fittest".

And with this I come to an end to all that I wanted to say about dear old Darwin :)

For your closing paragrah I have just one word, Dot on perfect
Take care
:)
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Sep 9, 2010   #6
It is called, quite aptly, fusion.

This is a case where I would use " " marks for "fusion."

Capitalize the i in that quote: As the old saying goes, "It is only...

Alright, so... I cannot really criticize this essay. It does everything just right. You could make a topic sentence that connects to the thesis a little better in paragraph 3 : "Fashion designers also take.." This seems like an abrupt subject change, but of course it is not. It is another example to support the main idea.

Well... okay, even though I think this essay is already perfect, you could make it better by adding one more sentence to the end of paragraph one so that you have a strong thesis like "Examples from evolutionary theory and the field of fashion design both demonstrate that..." and in this way the essay's "structure" will improve.

Know what I mean? Consider adding a sentence to that first paragraph.


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