Unanswered [4] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 5

IELTS: outlay and expense on fast foods in the UK


rockmanvnx6 2 / 3  
Jan 28, 2014   #1
The chart below shows the amount of money per week spent on fast foods in Britain.
The graph shows the trends in consumption of fast foods.
Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below .
___
The bar chart illustrates the outlay on fast foods in the UK in 1990 whereas the line graph gives information about the figure for the consumption of fast food from 1970 to 1990 as indicated on the x-axis .

Overall , people in the UK spend a lot of their money on hamburger but their consumption of fish and chips is the highest .
It can be seen clearly from the barchart that in the high income group , the budget for hamburger came first with 42 pence while that for fish and chips was only 16 pence . In the average income group , the spending money on hamburger witnessed a significant drop from 42 pence to 32 pence . In contrast , the expenditure on fish and chip rose considerably from 16 pence to 25 pence . On the other hand , in the low income group , people spent their money on fish and chip more than hamburger .

Moving to the linegraph , the consumption of hamburger rose dramatically from 80 grammes to 500 grammes between 1970 and 1990 while that of pizza experienced a marked reduction from 300 to 200 in 15 years . After that , there is a slight climb in the consumption of pizza from 1985 to 1990






Fardhani Putri 23 / 46 7  
Jan 28, 2014   #2
My suggestion for your essay is you should make it balance.
You have to more explore the line graph because your explanation it's too less

Moving to the linegraph , the consumption of hamburger rose dramatically from 80 grammes to 500 grammes between 1970 and 1990 while that of pizza experienced a marked reduction from 300 to 200 in 15 years . After that , there is a slight climb in the consumption of pizza from 1985 to 1990

and where is your conclusion? you should write it because that is IELTS pattern.
Regards
Fardhani
tiaDS 73 / 235 52  
Jan 28, 2014   #3
while that for fish and chips was were only 16 pence .

The bar chart illustrates the outlay on fast foods in the UK in 1990, whereas the line graph gives

Overall , people in the UK Britons spend a lot of their money on hamburger, but their consumption of fish and chips is are the highest .

the budget for hamburger came first with 42 pence, while that for fish and chips was only 16 pence .

In contrast , the expenditure on fish and chip rose considerably from 16 pence to 25 pence .

you should be consisten to mention (fish and chips)

in the low income group , people spent spend their money on fish and chip more than hamburger .

because in the first chart is not mention period.

Moving to the linegraph, the consumption of hamburger rose dramatically from 80 grammes to 500 grammes between 1970 and 1990, while that of pizza experienced a marked reduction from 300 to 200 in 15 years .

while in the first sentence: while, s + v, s + v.
while in the middle sentence : s + v, while s +v
OP rockmanvnx6 2 / 3  
Jan 28, 2014   #4
and where is your conclusion? you should write it because that is IELTS pattern.

can you write an example of conclusion in this task , because my teacher haven't teached me how to write it yet

rockmanvnx6:
Moving to the linegraph, the consumption of hamburger rose dramatically from 80 grammes to 500 grammes between 1970 and 1990, while that of pizza experienced a marked reduction from 300 to 200 in 15 years .

Thanks for your help ,btw i dont know why i cant use that of in this sentences .
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Jan 28, 2014   #5
The bar chart illustrates the outlay on fast foods in the UK in 1990 whereas the line graph gives information about the figure for the consumption of fast food from 1970 to 1990 as indicated on the x-axis .

This is a very good effort. You follow the best structure for this task. Very good intro, overview and detail paras. Good vocabulary, presentation too :)

I think you are ready for this task. Good Luck!


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS: outlay and expense on fast foods in the UK