Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


IELTS-overpopulation, governments should prison families who have more than one child



Lutcifier 1 / 5  
Jul 28, 2012   #1
Thanks for comments in advance! Please let me know band score by the way!

Overpopulation. What problems does overpopulation cause? Suggest at least one possible solution.

As the world globalizing, the number of population also increasing alarmingly. By the way it poses an immense number of problems such as unemployment, poverty, food deficiency, overcrowding and the most dangerous environmental problems.

Firstly, one of the main issue which overpopulation is posing is unemployment. As a result of unemployment the rate of committing crime and overcrowding are picking up significantly. secondly, a surge in environmental issues such as air pollution, deforestation and water pollution. In order to provide inhabitants with shelter, many forests are cutting down and the universe is becoming desert. Thirdly, many more people will not get sufficient food as land does not increase like the population. This triggers malnutrition, starvation or even worst health problems. Moreover, as a consequence of overpopulation poor countries will not be able to provide habitat all. People live in the streets, under the bridges or any other public places because of homelessness. Besides providing food, new challenge for providing home for all emerges.

In my opinion, in order to overcome this issue governments who facing overpopulation should introduce new laws against it. For example, they should penalize families financially who have more than a child. This may be partly possible way to decrease the birth rate.

To sum up, I want to recap that an increase in population simply makes the situation of the universe worst. The most
dangerous one is the number of sufferers will be huge.

bingle2012 7 / 11  
Jul 28, 2012   #2
As the world globalizing, the number of population also increasing alarmingly.

the number of population => the size of population

food deficiency

food shortage

governments who facing overpopulation

over-populated countries

Firstly, one of the main issue which overpopulation is posing is unemployment. As a result of unemployment the rate of committing crime and overcrowding are picking up significantly.

You should support you idea (unemployment) with reason, but you say what unemployment can cause. nothing to do with overpopulation

To sum up, I want to recap that

sum up and recap are repeat
iamrabin 1 / 1  
Jul 31, 2012   #3
Hi,

I am not a expert I am also student and learning to write essay.

Your reasoning capacity seems to be good, though there are several grammatical issues (sorry)

I think this essay is in a range of 6.

This is only my judgement.


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS-overpopulation, governments should prison families who have more than one child
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳