Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


Overpopulation in urban areas leads to a deficit of food, water, space for living and contamination



Nhi Huynh 1 / -  
May 27, 2022   #1

problems of overpopulation



It is clear that many people migrate to metropolia to find a better life, which leads to detrimental issues for society. There are a number of reasons behind this phenomenon, but measures can be taken by governments to improve the situation.

As the overpopulation issue is committing more harmful to society, several related problems can be anticipated. The main issue is that the environment bears detrimental effects from overpopulation, which leads to a deficit of food, water, space for living and contamination in big cities. For example, overpopulation results in increasing waste households being discharged into the environment, causing contamination of air and water sources. Another problem is the governments have suffered harmful effects on public services, infrastructure transportation and increased unemployment rate. For example, serious traffic congestion, medical services overload and employees without formal academic qualifications who can be paid a low salary, so they can not afford the cost of living in cities.

Since these issues are serious, the government should immediately take steps to address these problems. The first solution would be to move industrial production factories to rural areas to create more job opportunities for residents. For example, governments should subsidize enterprises to encourage them to build more factories in provincial towns rather than focusing on the heart of the city. The second would be to improve the public services like medical facilities and infrastructure transport, reducing the number of people going to the city for treatment and commuting with residents easily.

In conclusion, it is clear that there are various reasons for overpopulation in cities being harmful to society and the environment. This is a joint effort by governments such as improve public services and make more jobs for employees, which can hopefully address these problems.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15344  
May 27, 2022   #2
There are 2 direct questions that are to be the basis of the writer's opinion. The instruction is to provide an overview of 2 related problems and accompanying solutions. The introduction of these answers in the short form help to increase the clarity of the establishing response as it sets the tone for the succeeding discussion paragraphs. The first paragraph is incomplete without it

While the problems presented have a direct relationship, the writer did not successfully connect the 2 topics in the paragraph. There is a lack of cohesive device and transition word/phrase usage in the presentation. The missing links prove to be a scoring problem as it affects the coherence of the paragraph. A connecting reference is required to establish the topic discussion chain in relation to the problems to prove the seriousness of the problem.

With regards to possible solutions, the presentation is also under explained. The examples presented must specifically indicate what or which of the 2 problems it should solve. The 2nd solution could also use more development in terms of how it supports the first solution. The problem is again cohesive and transition device usage.

A complete summary conclusion is also presented. The problems related to overpopulation should have been restated to represent the fist discussion basis. There is no logic to the solutions recap if the problems these solve are not presented as the establishing topics.
aanh1009 5 / 11  
May 29, 2022   #3
Linking words are highly advised to be used in your essay since the coherence between your statement was not achived, resulting in the declination of perspicuity.


Home / Writing Feedback / Overpopulation in urban areas leads to a deficit of food, water, space for living and contamination
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Need professional help with your assignments? Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳