"parants are the best teachers" - I want a band for my essay(IELTS task 2)

Hi,

I wrote an IELTS task two essay and I wish to know which band is my writing

could you please help me..

The question is : Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? parents are the best teacher.

I answered like the following:

It's world-wide knows fact that perants are the first teacher to their children.However, there is a big arguement whether they're the best teachers or not. The purpose of this essay is to highlight both sides of the argument and to give my own opinion.

Although great deal of people belive in the fact mother and father are the best teacher to their children,I belive that is wrong. First of all , It's obvious that pearnts are not the only source that child could learn from. The child is able to be taught by a school teacher or even by involving himself in daily life problems.Nowadays, there are a lot of teachers who are contribute in educating children. They improve them in both sides: emotional and educational.Therfore they are the best.

Furthermore,perants are not always avilable to teach their children.They must be busy in their career to scure their children future and this will keep them away from their children.For instance,doctors and bankers spend about three quarter their day at their jobs.That's why they are not allowed to contact with their children and teach them.

Another reason is that some perants don't know the best way to rise or to communicate with their chidren.Some of them are very strikt and they maybe suffer their children ,and this behaviour will destroy the emotional structure of the child.

Overall,Althaugh perants are the closet to their children and they provide more support to them, they are not the best as it has been explained above.

It's a worldwide known fact that parents are the first teachersof their children
Although many people belive the fact that mother and father are the best teacher of their children,
It's obvious that parents are not the only source that child could learn from.
The child can be taught by teachersat school or even by involving himself in daily life problems.
Furthermore,parents are not always ava lable to teach their children.
Another reason is that some parents don't know the best way to rise or to communicate with their chidren.Some of them are very strict ....

although parents are the closes t to their children and they provide more support to them, they are not the best as it has been explained above.

Be sure to put a period at the end of this sentence.
Tran gave excellent corrections! Let's see a draft with the sentences changed according to those corrections.

Also, only capitalize the first letter of the FIRST WORD OF A SENTENCE:
Overall, although parents are the closest to their children and they provide more support to them, they are not the best, as it has been explained above.

:-)