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Toefl:Should parents accompany their children to play games?



fuqiangang 3 / 7  
Aug 11, 2013   #1
Obviously,in most cases parents argue that children spend all of one's time on academic studies.However,it's a little bit haste to say that academic studies are better than games,or vice verse.I believe that children should engage in playing games in leisure times it is a vital part of education which teaches children to give them a method of releasing tension and aggression,and how to work as a team.

Admittedly,it's undeniable that academic studies could help children become elite of society.To be a successful student and be prosperous in a career,children must have that drive that makes time go on in the innocentest times.If a child spends all of his time studying with parents,he will advance quickly in school.He will master knowledge early in life than other children,who spent their time playing,will not learn until they are at least a few years older.This child will master the value of education early on,and will leave a deep impression on parents with his knowledge,therefore gaining self-confidence and motivation.

In spite of some merits,there would certainly be negative effects as well.Leisure activities involves teamwork of some sort.Much of the activities that young people get involves games such as basketball,volleyball,or football.All of these sports can improve children's coordination skill which is beneficial for their academic projects and teach how to work together to achieve a common goal,in this case,winning.These games are not only one kind of practicing but also significance enhance children's coordination skill which is very crucial for their academic careers.I also believe that allowing the children to play with parents in a pleasure environment,rather than only academic projects,brings a stronger of familial affection,which helps the children to healthy camaraderie with others.

In addition to improving children's coordination,playing games access to life with a relaxing path.It's impossible for responsibilities in their daily routine life.Generally,parents require to make themselves to be pleasure as they were in their childhood by playing games which are the most valid and excellent way to release aggression,refresh their energy and eliminate all tension.It does also make them fun and feel young again which is beneficial for their mental healthy.Meanwhile,children can less stress and make academic projects effectively by playing games with parents.Therefore,games are crucial for parents and children mentally.

Judging from all the evidence offered,we may safely arrive at the conclusion that children participate in games with parents is important for children's life.

alice0209 12 / 12  
Aug 12, 2013   #2
I think your introduction is a little unclear.

The topic is about Should parents accompany their children to play games? ,so the main point is about parents accompanying with their children with games, but you compare games with academic pursuit which is not mentioned in the topic. In the whole introduction, you didn't mention anything about parents.

Hope this help:)
dumi 1 / 6795  
Aug 12, 2013   #3
Obviously,in most cases parents argue that children spend all of one's time on academic studies.

... this is not strong enough :( You need to have a good hook that binds the reader to read your document.
moonname 6 / 14  
Aug 12, 2013   #4
I agree with Alice. It seems that you only describe the main issue of the essay in the forth paragraph. Your key points are not recognizable easily. Also I think the structure of your sentences are a little complicated and it makes your essay a little vague.

Meanwhile, thank you for your advice.


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